Her Friend Wanted To Invite Herself And Whole Bunch Of People Over To Throw An Impromptu BBQ, But She Ignored Her Calls And Forced Her To Throw It At Her Own Place
by Diana Whelan
Being a good friend doesn’t mean letting someone walk all over you, but this person certainly didn’t get that memo.
This story has one woman confronting her newly-reconnected friend’s sense of entitlement.
Let’s just say this ended with more hang-ups than hangouts.
AITA for ignoring my friend’s phone calls after she invited herself, her spouse, her children, and her friends to my home for an impromptu BBQ without my permission?
My friend is having a hard time with her spouse, and really needs someone to be there for her while they work through their issues.
We only just recently reconnected after not speaking for 4 years.
Now, every time she calls she asks me what I’m doing for the day or at that moment, and then invites herself, her family of 4, and some of her friends over to my house.
Yikes.
Example 1 for clarity.
Friday was her spouse’s birthday.
Monday she told me her plan was to take him to dinner.
Then she calls me Friday morning asking me what I was doing.
I told her I was just watching a movie on my couch.
Then she says I know it’s last minute, but I want to come over and BBQ at your house.
She said the kids could play together and we could hang out and have some drinks.
I hesitated initially, and then told her that I didn’t really have a lot of meat here nor was my home “company ready.”
She responded that she would grab some more food and do all of the cooking. Then I said okay.
Sounds reasonable.
I cleaned up a little bit and then I received a second call.
She excitedly told me that she invited her guy friend and he may bring a friend for me to talk to, AND a female friend of hers was also coming.
I was so shocked that she was trying to throw a party not just come over and hangout with just her family like she implied during the first call.
Her family already was 4 people that I was not expecting which would have made a total of 8 people including my own children.
Okay, NOT so reasonable.
I have only met 2 of the 3 people she invited.
She did not even ask if she could invite anyone else to my home or give out my address.
Luckily, I got a call on the other line and told her I’d call back.
2 hours passed by and she called me repeatedly.
I decided to text her that something came up and I can’t host a party for her husband.
I did not receive a response.
Cold.
I waited another 2 hours and then called her to see how the BBQ party was going.
She told me she didn’t even have the BBQ party.
Like WTH?
I asked her why she didn’t ask her friends to come to her apartment since she has her own BBQ grill and why didn’t she at least go out to dinner like she planned originally.
She literally didn’t even answer the first question, but said she didn’t want to spend a lot of money going out to eat.
Am I the ******* for making up an excuse to end the call and then ignoring all of her repeated calls to confirm?
Reddit sided with the her on this one, but thinks she needs to do a better job of stating her real feelings.
This person thinks the “friend” is definitely using her.
This person orders her to learn how to just say “NO.”
And this person also has some sound advice.
What can we say?
When friends turn your house into a BBQ, it’s time to grill them on boundaries.
If you liked that story, check out this post about a group of employees who got together and why working from home was a good financial decision.
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