Young Father Wants To Move Away For College To Pursue A Brighter Future For His Daughter, But His Sister Is In His Care And Claims He’s Abandoning Her
by Benjamin Cottrell
Parentified children often have the challenge of juggling multiple roles at once.
When their father abandoned them at a young age, this young man dutifully balanced the roles of brother, son, and unexpected father.
As he prepared to leave for college, tension grows with his younger sister who he’s always cared for, hinting at unresolved pain from their father’s absence.
Read on to find out how it all went down.
AITA for moving out when my sister said I was abandoning her after being her father figure her whole life?
I (19 M) have a sister, Emma (16 F).
To give a little backstory, mine and Emma’s dad left when Emma was 4, abandoning our mother for another woman, leaving her a single mother.
Growing up, Emma and I were very close, and as we got older, I found myself taking a paternal role with her, helping with her homework, picking her clothes, cooking while our mother worked.
It became a routine in our family until my sophomore year in high school.
That’s when another big change hit the family.
My mother lost her job, which was our main stream of income. This resulted in me having to get a job to help make ends meet.
During this time, I was battling mental health issues and hung around the wrong group. I ended meeting my then girlfriend who was a junior at the time.
Then life handed him another big responsibility.
To make a long story short, the relationship was very toxic and she ended getting pregnant, and decided to keep the baby.
When my daughter, Olivia, was 2 weeks old, her mother abandoned us, leaving our daughter with me.
With this new responsibility, I found my time being pulled from caring for Emma.
Emma didn’t appreciate his energy being focused elsewhere.
I did my best to make time to hang out with her, but over the years I noticed her becoming more resentful towards me.
At first it was small comments here and there, then she starting getting upset when I’d tend to my daughter. Our relationship became strained after that.
I graduated from high school back in June and started looking for colleges. I found a community college a few hours away that wasn’t too expensive.
The campus is a few minutes from my grandparents house so they offered to have me stay with them while attending classes, and they’d watch Olivia for me during the day.
Emma wasn’t happy with this change.
I was speaking with my mom about it to arrange a time where she was off work and we could move my stuff.
When Emma walked into the room and overheard. Her reaction became upset when she heard and she started calling me “selfish” and “unfair”.
For the next few weeks she continued this, but whenever I tried to explain she’d get upset and storm out of the room.
The tension came to a head one evening.
A few days ago, we were home alone around 9pm, while our mom worked. And Emma and I had gotten into an argument about me moving.
It was starting to get heated when my daughter woke up and started calling for me.
Emma had finally had enough.
The last straw was when I went to get her Emma had said, I was an AH just like our dad, abandoning her when she needed me most. And that she wishes my daughter was never born.
Before I could say anything, she stormed into her bedroom and slammed the door.
Her words struck me deeply, and for the past few days she’s refused to come out of her room.
He’s left wondering what his biggest priority should be right now.
After talking with my mom, we’ve agreed it’d be best if I moved in with my grandparents earlier. And we’ve arranged to do it next weekend.
I don’t know I’m feeling bad for what happened, and the guilt is eating me up inside.
But I feel what I am doing is best for me and my daughter.
So AITA?
It seems there’s no easy decision for him.
What did Reddit think?
Things may be hard right now, but eventually Emma will appreciate his sacrifice.
Familial roles have been all jumbled for most of Emma’s life.
This redditor believes Emma should find support elsewhere.
This user foresees trouble ahead if Emma can’t get help with her issues.
As he packed up to move forward with the next chapter in his life, he can’t help but worry about what he’s leaving behind.
Only time will tell if the rift between him and his sister can heal.
If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.
Categories: STORIES
Tags: · aita, divorce, family drama, picture, reddit, sibling drama, siblings, top, young parents
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