Weddings can be stressful especially when the family tries to make decisions the bride and groom should be making for themselves.

In today’s story, the wedding dress is the cause of the drama.

Let’s see how the story unfolds…

AITAH for not forcing my fiancée to wear my father’s late wife wedding dress?

My father lost his first wife (I’m going to call her Mia) more than 30 years ago.

It is a very long and complicated situation, but to summarize it: my mother is the second on his heart because he’s always said that the love of his life is Mia and he always made it clear.

My dad still wears his wedding ring with Mia in one hand, my mom bakes a cake for her birthday, my mom leaves my dad alone when it’s his anniversary with Mia and he’s feeling down.

There are many photos of Mia in the house. There are even photos of her in their room because my father never wanted to change them, etc.

OP points out that this is surprisingly normal for some families.

As crazy as it may seem, this kind of thing is very normal within couples of this type and they see that as something normal and sweet even if it is not.

For example, making a cake every Mia’s birthday was the idea of another woman who is also married to a widower and does the same thing.

I’ve been raised that way, kind of having two mothers… Even if it wasn’t like that.

It was not a healthy childhood but luckily I have gone to therapy to work on all the issues that this caused.

OP is getting married and his fiancee wants to wear his mother’s wedding dress.

My mother always says that he gives her the space she deserves and feels equally loved like he loves his first wife.

My siblings and I don’t see it that way because our mother deserves better, but if she is happy we will not ruin her happiness so we never talk about it.

Now, coming to the problem; I’m going to marry my fiancée. Her mother never had a wedding ceremony so she doesn’t have a wedding dress to inherit, so my girlfriend excitedly told me that she thinks it would be cute to ask my mother if she can use her dress.

My mom has mentioned that in the past and I don’t have any sisters, so I thought it was a nice idea.

OP’s mom is excited that her soon to be daughter-in-law wants to wear her wedding dress.

Anyway, I talked to my mom about lending her dress to my fiancée and she got really excited and said yes.

My mother had spoken several times about wanting to have a daughter to wear her dress, and she was very excited when my fiancée asked her to wear it.

She even tried it on.

That conversation was closed.

Now his mother wants the fiancee to wear Mia’s wedding dress.

Now, almost a month after we talked about it, my mom asked my fiancée that it would be nice to wear Mia’s wedding dress.

My fiancée told her no, she feels a connection with my mother and not with Mia. She doesn’t even know Mia.

After that my mother has been asking me to try to convince my fiancée to wear Mia’s dress.

OP explains the drama between the two dresses.

My father wanted me to put up the typical decoration to commemorate the deceased, but I told him I won’t do that.

So my mother now wants my fiancée to wear Mia’s dress to commemorate her and for her to be present too because she was someone really special(again; I never meet her, I don’t know who she was. My fiancée told me that Mia is a total stranger to her).

My fiancée wants my mother’s dress. She wants to give her a special place at the wedding since my mother sees her as a daughter and she as a second mother and wants to have a special moment.

OP isn’t sure what’s “normal.”

I told my mother that I don’t intend to do that. It even seems gloomy and weird to me, but I have been raised around Mia’s memory that sometimes I don’t even understand if I am exaggerating or not.

Aitah? Being raised in this kind of way sometimes makes me feel confused about what is normal and not in a family.

It would be normal to ask my fiancée to wear Mia’s dress in my family dynamic, but I don’t know what someone who was raised normally would do and if I am a bad person for not wanting to have done it.

This family dynamic sounds odd to me. I think the bride should get to decide, and it clearly sounds like she wants to wear the mom’s dress.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story…

This reader thinks the situation is “creepy.”

Another reader thinks the mom is in a mentally abusive relationship.

Here’s a suggestion for OP’s parents…

This reader points out who the wedding is really about.

Hopefully the parents back off.

The wedding is not about the father’s deceased first wife.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.