When it comes to dinner parties, everyone has their own idea of what being a good guest looks like.

For one guest, sitting back with a glass of wine seemed just right, but her husband’s frustrated attitude at the end of the night made it clear she crossed a line.

You’ll want to read on for this one.

AITA for not helping out when I was a guest at my in laws?

So I have this theory (maybe faulty) that when one hosts a dinner party, the host(s) does everything and guests relax.

She explains her philosophy for entertaining.

Whenever I have guests over, I don’t want them helping me set the table, or doing the dishes. I want them having fun, drinking, and enjoying.

I was recently at my in laws.

My MIL cooked up a storm and was frantically running in and out of the kitchen with various dishes, etc.

She decided that since she would want the same for her guests, it was time for her to kick back and relax.

I ate, took my plate to the kitchen, rinsed it off, then I saw my FIL sitting watching the game on tv so I sat with him and chatted, sipping wine.

But her husband had other ideas.

When we got home, my husband was really upset I did not help his mom bring out the dishes, or clean up after the dinner.

I was surprised and said I am the guest, when she is over our house I don’t ask her.

He offers his reasoning, she offers her rebuttal.

He said, “But she always offers. You should have offered.”

I said but I don’t feel like doing housework when I am a guest at someone’s house. I don’t really like cooking and usually order take out when I have guests.

But it’s different when it’s family, her husband continues.

My husband said, “This is not some stranger. This is family, you didn’t see how tired my mom was? Everyone was helping and you just sat there and drank like a spoiled princess.”

He likes to bring that up because I am an only child and maybe I am a little spoiled.

But his dad wasn’t helping either!

When I brought up his father and how the father was not helping, he got even angrier.

She knows her family is upset with her, but she still doesn’t feel like she did anything wrong.

So I don’t know maybe I am in the wrong here, but I don’t want to be handling dishes and stuff when I am tipsy.

Ages for those who interested: Me and husband 45f/45m; mother and father in law both 70.

Looking back, maybe relaxing during clean-up time wasn’t the most graceful mood

Reddit wholeheartedly agreed.

When in doubt, follow social cues.

This commenter wags their finger.

This user challenges the post author to look inward.

She should have taken the hint that helping out was the right thing to do in that moment.

She may want her guests to relax, but not everyone sees eye to eye on the rules of entertaining.

Next time, a little effort in the kitchen might save a whole lot of tension at the table.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.