Looking for a home to buy is a big deal. Not only is it a very expensive decision, but it is also where you will live every single day. In today’s story, a couple finds a home they want to buy, but then the parents have another idea. Not everyone is happy about it.

Let’s see how the story plays out…

AITA for not wanting to take over my partner’s parent’s mortgage?

So my partner and I have been together for about 2 years.

We were best friends for 3 years before that, so we’re extremely serious/close.

I love his family, and they love me.

His dad is constantly trying to plan our wedding. We’re constantly together, but due to financial issues we haven’t been able to move in together.

This coming summer we decided we were going to get our own place. At first we were looking at apartments, but he asked me if we should buy something instead. I was delighted to hear his suggestion, as I’ve always wanted to be a homeowner.

OP thought they had found the perfect home.

We ended up finding these homes currently being built that would be within our price range. It’s in a great area, brand new build, everything was honestly perfect.

I was SO happy thinking about decorating our future house, and being able to have family over for events at our very own home.

So the kicker is, his parents decided to take out a second mortgage on their home to build a vacation home to live in half the year since they’re retiring. They told my partner that they wanted us to take over the mortgage, and take care of the home for them.

Obviously my partner wants to make his parents happy, and they begged him to do this for them.

OP doesn’t want to live in her partner’s parents’ house.

Now I want to know, am I the jerk for not wanting to take over the mortgage?

I was SO excited about the idea of us buying our own home, and making it our own. His parents house is nice, but it’s in a bad part of town, and I feel like we would never be able to really make it ours as they plan on living with us for half the year.

This part is also upsetting as I haven’t lived with parents since I was 18. I don’t want to feel like I’m walking on eggshells in my own home by having them live with us half the year.

Everyone is making OP feel “selfish.”

Being told by my partner that he didn’t want to buy a home together anymore was honestly really heartbreaking for me. I’ve been feeling so bummed about it.

I guess what really upsets me is that no one told his parents to take out a second mortgage on their home. Their home was completely paid off beforehand. So if anything, the entire family was telling them NOT to take out the loan.

Any time I try to talk to the people in my life about this they make me feel like a selfish jerk for not wanting to take over his parent’s mortgage.

OP is really unhappy about how this situation is turning out.

It honestly would end up being just as expensive as buying our own home, except this wouldn’t be our home.

The house is also old so stuff is always breaking and needing repairmen to come over.

I wanted a brand new slate for us to start our own lives together, but now I’m worried we’re never going to be able to do that. It’s just really frustrating because I feel like they should just sell their home but they refuse.

I just feel like all my decisions are being made for me rn, and I had a plan in my head that’s being taken from me.

I’d be bummed too. Who wants to live in an old home in a bad neighborhood when you could live in your dream home for the same price?

Let’s see how Reddit responded…

This reader warned OP not to take over the parents’ mortgage.

Another reader thinks OP’s partner is making a big mistake.

This reader points out that they’d basically be renting the home.

This person points out two big problems.

Another reader thinks OP needs to stand her ground.

The answer seems clear. Hopefully both partners can eventually see that.

If you liked that post, check out this post about a woman who tracked down a contractor who tried to vanish without a trace.