It is heartbreaking when someone is raised by a parent who does not seem to want them, and the sooner as you can escape the situation, the better.

What would you do if you found out you had half-siblings from your mom, whom you have not seen since you were 11?

That is what the woman in this story is experiencing, and she doesn’t want to reopen the door to that time of her life so she doesn’t want to meet her half siblings.

Take a look.

AITA for refusing to be in contact or share family information with my mother’s other kids?

My (31F) family life growing up was pretty tense, mostly due to my mother’s behavior.

I don’t think she was ever diagnosed with anything, but I’m pretty sure she was mentally ill in some way.

Some of my earliest memories are hiding from her because she would get loud and aggressive over the smallest things.

He may have been staying to avoid the risk of not getting custody in a divorce.

My dad was a total champ and was always there for me and I know now as an adult that he tried his best to run interference so that she would be mad at him and not take things out on me.

I wish he would have divorced her sooner.

She clearly had some mental health issues.

It was so bad by the time that he finally left her, he got full custody of me, a restraining order, and her whole family had disowned her by then.

They have always been good to me, but they never mention her and my aunt told me one time that she had been burning bridges for years and most of the family had been tolerating her basically because they wanted to be in the picture for me.

I never heard from her again after I was about 11 and I feel like that was the best thing she ever did for me.

I hadn’t though about her in a long time until just recently when I was contacted through a private investigator.

It turns out my mom died about 5 years after no contact.

That’s quite the surprise.

Between the divorce and her death, she had 2 other kids (now 20M and 18F).

Which may have been why she dropped off the face of the earth, it seems like the oldest was born that same year.

My grandparents have passed but none of the other relatives knew anything about it or kept in contact with her so the whole thing came as a surprise to them, too, when I asked.

The two kids seem to have had a rough life but are now trying to find out about their birth families.

The PI asked if I would be willing to talk to them and share information about other relatives they could get in touch with.

She has to do what is best for her own mental health.

The thing is, I really don’t want to reopen that period of my life.

I feel bad for them, but I don’t want to talk about my mother and the idea of having to connect with two new half-siblings that I don’t know from Adam’s house cat right now makes me feel ill.

I’ve had to work hard to recover from all the stuff I went through with my mom and my life is stable and content the way it is.

I declined, but offered to ask if other family want to be in contact.

She doesn’t have to now, but should keep the possibility open in the future.

All of them have said no, so I told the PI that and that I would not provide further information.

He got pretty heavy about it and now I’m wondering if I’m doing the right thing.

AITA?

That is a terribly difficult situation, but you have to do what is best for yourself.

Let’s take a look at the comments and see what other people had to say.

This person suggests that she may want to contact them in the future. Or not.

This comment suggests providing medical history.

This person points out that she isn’t obligated to give them the answers they want.

They aren’t wrong for asking, she isn’t wrong for declining.

Yup, she did more than she is strictly required.

You have to do whatever is necessary to protect your mental health.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.