November 22, 2024 at 11:20 pm

When She Finds Out Her Best Friend Is Dating Her Abusive Ex Boyfriend, She Kicks Her Out Of Her House In A Strange City

by Sarrah Murtaza

Source: Reddit/AITA/Pexels/ RDNE Stock project

Life can get tricky when the people closest to you become toxic, especially when your family takes their side.

This woman’s best friend started dating her abusive ex. She’s shocked when she finds out, but her best friend is on her way to becoming her ex best friend.

See how the story plays out…

My best friend is dating my abuser and wants me to reconcile with him so I kicked her out of my home.

I’ve tried to write this out for days now, but I keep getting too upset to concentrate, so this might be a bit jumpy.

I don’t have family in the sense many understand family to be. So I’ve been pretty much a loner with one exception: my best friend Tammy.

We met in middle school and just became joined at the hip.

This is where it gets really bad…

Things changed a bit in college.

My parents forced me into a Christian out of state college – Tammy applied and got accepted to the other college in the town, so we both went out there and were roommates for 2 of the years before I met my 1st ever boyfriend – I will call him Trent.

I moved in with him the end of junior year, and I don’t know when it started happening, but he went from charming and affectionate to controlling.

I don’t wish to upset anyone so I will hit the pause button and warn you that below is some of the things he did for me to label him abusive…he would put me down and hint he could find someone better or that if he cheats, it will be my fault since I wasn’t this or that enough.

Things got worse afterwards…

It started to get physical senior year.

At first it was him pushing me out of the way if he was walking by and I was in the path for whatever reason, then he would slap me in arguments calling me worthless, a waste of his time and young years, a broken toy no one will love.

I didn’t have any real self-esteem, so I stayed, thinking I was the problem, and when I called home about it, I was told that the problem was me.

I started to make my exit plan the day after I graduated.

He had proposed, and I hesitated, and he screamed at me to ask why, then her swung and punched the wall right next to my head.

I fell to the floor in fear, and he tried to comfort me.

He was a horrible person!

When I woke up the next morning, the ring was on my finger, and he forced me again saying he forgave me for the way I treated him.

That is the extremely short explanation, but there are so many stories of him forcing me into bed, hitting me or threatening to kill me, and more.

So, I started to make a plan.

I found a shelter in the city nearby, I started hiding things in the trunk of my car.

I was in the service Industry then and so I would take more shifts whenever I could and hide my cash tips in a box of tampons in my purse.

She was finally able to get out of it.

And I finally was ready and left him, left my phone (I had a new cheap one), and never went back.

Tammy knew him and lived near us but she didn’t know about my plan.

She messaged me on social media and I told her what happened. All of what happened.

So she played dumb when he came around asking where I was, spinning the story that I was suicidal and he is calling the police to find me.

He never found me.

Things moved on after that…

That was years ago. I am now 36, and Tammy is too. Trent is 38.

Tammy became a bit religious but I told her as long as she is happy and safe, I don’t care what she leans on in faith.

She started to invite me out to her church 4 years ago and I kept saying no until I very firmly said if she brought it up again, I would just walked out or hang up.

I’m not against anyone believing what they want, I just don’t want or need to be sucked into it.

I honestly do not mean any offense to anyone of any faith, I myself am just agnostic and if that ever will change, I will decide on my own but I doubt it will.

She didn’t really want her friend to leave her alone…

She got a job 2 years ago overseas.

I acted excited for her and I was but I was also deeply devastated. Without her, I had no one else.

By this time, I wasn’t in contact much with family, and I do have surface level friends, but no one that’s known me in the real sense. I worked it out with my counselor and just carried on.

We stayed in touch online and video chatted a lot. She would show me London and I would show her my transition to moving to Texas.

She was excited to meet Tammy again!

We would chronicle our explorations of our new cities and then one day it started to slow down on her end right around the time she went to visit a friend in our old college town.

She then asked if she flew to Texas sometime this summer, could she stay with me a few days and I excitedly agreed.

So early this month, just a few weeks ago, she came here.

She was off the whole first day but I figured she was tired. Then the next day, we went out and got drunk.

She started to cry and I got us an uber back to my place and asked her what was wrong.

Her friend admitted to something totally INSANE!

That’s when she asked me not to hate her and told me everything.

She’s with Trent. She’s been with him almost a year.

I was too stunned to even say anything and she went on and on about how it’s not what I think and he has changed. She told me he found Jesus and turned his life around and deeply regrets the way he treated me.

The more she talked, the more I just shut off.

She couldn’t believe her ears!

I didn’t even have it in me to feel anger. I just stared at her frozen as she talked until she said “please just say something”

So I did. I told her to get the hell out.

She started to explain it all again – she hated him forever but they kept running into each other, he goes to church and showed he is changed blahdy blahdy blah.

I didn’t interrupt her, but when she stopped talking again, I just repeated myself.

She argued more, and I would just listen and repeat until she grabbed her stuff and left.

Everyone started blaming her for no reason!

It was silent between us for a week until my dad texted me that Tammy called my parents crying and told me to get over myself, after all, its not like I wanted to get back with him, right?

And that’s what I get for living with a man I wasn’t married to.

Then she texted the next week rehashing her argument and pretty much demanding I video chat with him to see for myself that he’s changed and forgive him.

She then blamed me that they can’t take the next steps in their relationship because I don’t have a forgiving heart and that I was malicious when I kicked her out.

She doesn’t want to be friends with her anymore.

I’ve spent all of this week trying to figure out if I am insane to think this is a huge betrayal. A deal breaker. I mean who even dates their friend’s ex, for one, but this?

I blocked her after she hinted that my version of things was exaggerated and malicious, but I don’t have other friends to turn to about this.

I don’t think I am but my, and her family thinks I am TAH at least for kicking her out in a strange city alone when she was just being honest with me. Am I?

OUCH! That must have hurt!

Betrayal from your partner is one thing but from your best friend?

Let’s find out what the Reddit community has to say about this one.

That’s right! This user knows why Tammy had been hiding everything!

Source: Reddit/AITA

This user thinks Tammy is insane for not acting like an adult.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This user thinks Tammy will realize her mistake one fine day!

Source: Reddit/AITA

This user knows she is very strong!

Source: Reddit/AITA

This user thinks Tammy can manage her own problems.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Tammy shouldn’t have messed with her best friends abusive ex!

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.