When it comes to shared finances, trust is the glue that holds it all together.

But what happens when that trust is broken?

For one couple, when $4,000 disappears that was initially intended for their young daughter’s future, a heated debate arises over priorities and accountability.

Read on for the full story.

AITA for making my husband give our daughter the money gifted to us for her future?

Me (26F) and my husband (32M) had a baby in July of 2023.

We had announced a little before Christmas of ’22 that we were expecting, and our families were ecstatic at the news.

I have always wanted to be a mom, since I was a small child.

They received a generous gift from their family.

My father-in-law was so ecstatic at the news that he gifted us $4,000 for Christmas to help with medical bills and for the baby.

My father-in-law is a half-owner of a multi-state, multi-million-dollar business, of which my husband is slated to take over with his sister sometime next year.

They made the proper preparations before her birth to make sure the money was safely stored away.

In our state, it is a requirement to have a social security number prior to opening a bank account, which my daughter in utero did not have.

Therefore, it was agreed to enter the money into our joint account until after our daughter was born.

I don’t monitor this joint account because it’s at my husband’s bank, not mine.

The couple was doing pretty well financially, by most accounts.

To pay for medical costs associated with her birth, I had used my HSA, covering the full amount by myself.

I also created her a bank account through my bank, which my husband was supposed to be a trustee on, but failed to sign the paperwork in time, so my dad was designated instead.

But when the wife went to withdraw the funds, she got quite the surprise.

Today, while driving home from an event, I asked about the $4K, considering our daughter is a year old.

I asked for permission to withdraw the funds and enter it into our daughter’s legitimate account.

My husband started claiming that I already used the money for medical bills and that I cashed it into my personal account.

I told him that I did not do that and showed him my account from that time period.

He didn’t exactly hold up his end of the bargain, and immediately got defensive.

He said that if it was in the joint account, it is gone, and that he used it towards hunting land.

I didn’t give the okay to drop that money towards that.

He then called me ridiculous for even bringing it up and said that our baby isn’t entitled to that money as it was for medical expenses and care of her, which he barely pays anything towards.

She explains that she already pays for more than her fair share of the family’s expenses.

I pay 75% of daycare costs and all of the grocery bills, including formula/milk, and the baby is covered under my healthcare plan as his health plan is awful from his family’s business.

We split our mortgage 50/50, but I was the one who paid for the entire down payment.

And the financial burden is starting to weigh on her.

The whole situation was brought up when it did, as I am beginning to struggle to make ends meet.

I have been unable to transfer money every paycheck to our daughter’s account.

I’ve been putting $150 away per paycheck, as I want to be able to help her get a car or go to college if she so chooses.

The couple continues to argue back and forth.

I explained this, and my husband accused me of blowing through the money again and refuses to check.

I told him that I wasn’t asking — I was telling him that he needs to check and that he needed to figure out where the money went.

AITA?

It wasn’t just the money that was lost, but the wife’s trust in her husband, too.

Redditors chime in with their thoughts.

In this commenter’s eyes the husband isn’t contributing much at all to their marriage.

It seems like the husband’s financial missteps go beyond just ignorance.

If anything, the husband should be contributing more!

Making a mistake is one thing, but actively blaming his wife for his missteps is another.

What started as a generous gift ended up a painful lesson for this couple.

The true cost here was the strain on their marriage.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.