Family dynamics can be tricky.

And when you’re marrying into a family full of traditions, navigating them can be even harder.

In this story, a mom is trying to share old family traditions with her future daughter in law.

But she was not prepared for what would happen next.

Read on to find out more.

AITA for taking back a family heirloom from my daughter in law before the wedding?

My family has two heirlooms that we give to a bride or groom when they marry.

For the men, it’s a set of cufflinks, and for the women, it’s a bracelet.

My oldest son and my oldest sister are married, and their spouses wore the bracelet or cuff links at their weddings.

This tradition is essentially our family’s way of saying, “we’re accepting you into the family.”

When my future DIL got engaged, I gave her the bracelet and explained that it’s a family heirloom.

I expressed how meaningful it would be if she wore it at the wedding.

I mentioned that she could wear it during the reception if she preferred not to wear it in the ceremony.

It’s a white jade bracelet, and I shared its significance with her.

Let’s see what happened next.

Now, with the wedding only a few months away, there’s a problem.

My daughter has been getting to know my future daughter-in-law, and she recently came to me saying that my future daughter-in-law thinks the bracelet is ugly and has been complaining about it.

She even showed me texts where my future daughter-in-law said some hurtful things about me, calling me “controlling” for giving her the bracelet.

This hurt and it felt like a complete rejection, especially since she knows why it’s important.

When I asked my son, he said he didn’t know anything about her feelings on this.

Since she clearly doesn’t want or respect the bracelet, I asked for it back.

Read on to find out how the future daughter-in-law reacted.

That’s when things got messy.

She made a big deal about how I was excluding her from the family by taking it back.

Now, she’s calling me a jerk.

My son also thinks I’m a jerk for taking it back, even after I showed him what she said.

People are divided over this, saying that by taking it back, it implies I don’t see her as family or trust her with the heirloom.

AITA?

It’s one thing to politely decline something you don’t want to wear, or even to ‘forget’ to wear it on the day.

It’s a whole other thing to talk negatively about it behind the gift-giver’s back.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit thought about this.

This person agreed that the future daughter-in-law was being disrespectful.

And others called out the daughter-in-law for her behavior.

While some Redditors felt that all of the involved people were partly to blame.

And this person thought better communication might be in order.

Let’s face it: maybe the bracelet was ugly.

Perhaps she didn’t want to wear it.

But there’s no excuse for the horrible way this woman spoke about her future mother-in-law behind her back.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.