Making an effort with your partner’s family is often a sign of respect, even when it’s not easy.

Yet, one man’s decision to dodge his girlfriend’s sister’s kids might leave him looking less considerate than he intended.

She’s definitely not happy.

Read on for the full story!

AITA For isolating myself away from my gf’s family in my own home?

So I (23M) and my gf (23F) live together, just the two of us.

I’m an only child to a single mother and have no siblings, nieces, or nephews as a result.

But his girlfriend came from a much different family background.

My gf’s sister, on the other hand, has a sister (25F) who has two young kids under five years old.

My gf and her sister grew up in foster care together and, as a result, are extremely close.

She’s also really close to her niece and nephew.

This doesn’t exactly gel well with his personality.

For context before delving into why I’m unsure if I’m the AH: I don’t get along with kids.

I also want to preface this by disclosing a full understanding that I know kids act the way they do because they’re kids at the end of the day.

That being said, I think they’re loud, messy, unhygienic, and overall too much for me to handle.

I’m also autistic, if this would make a difference in terms of making a decision here.

This has created quite the dilemma for him whenever his girlfriend’s family comes to town.

Now onto why I could be the AH.

My gf’s sister visits us infrequently, and I get along with her great.

She’s funny, great to be around, and lively, etc.

I also get along with her other family members and have gone over to their house for drinks nights, etc., and always had good fun.

But then the pesky kids show up.

Despite this, she usually brings her kids over when visiting us.

When she does, I tend to stay in our bedroom and avoid the kids for the reasons listed above.

I don’t dislike her children in particular, just in a general sense.

I get really overwhelmed, and their loud crying, messiness, loud stomping/running, and overall uncleanliness really get to me.

My gf knows why I do this; however, her sister does not.

His girlfriend’s sister has begun to question his reticence,

Her sister asked her a few days ago why I hadn’t come out to say hello, and my gf told her that I wasn’t feeling great, which is the typical excuse given.

Despite this, my gf has asked me to at least try and make an effort because they’re family, which I totally get, but I’m honestly not too fussed about doing so.

She wants him to come out and socialize, but he insists he contributes in other ways.

She said I was being unreasonable for not compromising even just once or twice here and there.

Which I can understand, but I seriously would rather not.

Plus, I make an effort when the kids aren’t here and have tried to integrate with her extended family.

He tries to defend his behavior even further.

I told her that I simply cannot handle the kids and would much rather not be around them until they’re a little older and the things that bother me subside to some degree.

I have also interacted with her cousins, who are in their early teenage years, fine, so I know that it’s simply down to age and the respective behaviors that follow.

I also wanted to mention that I have zero intentions of ever having kids in the future, so I know this isn’t something I’ll just have to “deal with.”

So… AITA for actively avoiding my gf’s sister’s kids?

Pursuing peace and quiet in the short term could lead to anything but in the long term…

What did Reddit think?

Certain things in life are difficult, but it doesn’t mean we get to just avoid them.

It’s not his preferences that really bug this redditor, but more their overall lack of effort.

This commenter goes a step further, accusing the author of using their diagnosis as a crutch.

This commenter urges him to consider what effect his actions may have on his girlfriend and her own relationship with her sister.

His aversion to chaos might be understandable, but relationships thrive on meeting in the middle.

Sometimes avoiding small compromises leads to much bigger problems.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.