Weddings are supposed to be a joyous time when the bride and groom get to celebrate how they see fit.

Unfortunately it doesn’t necessarily turn out that way. At least not so far for the engaged couple in this story.

See what they’re going through with her parents.

WIBTA for not seeing my parents over the holidays because they’re controlling

My fiancé and I will be getting married in the next few months and are paying for and organizing our DIY wedding ourselves.

Everything from picking our venue, to renting all the necessities and having wonderful friends helping out with the food and music (they’re in the food and music industries).

But the warm vibes end there.

While this is an exciting time for my fiancé and I, my parents have tried to seize control and turn to bullying tactics in order to get what they want-

For example, my dad has started treating me like one of his employees and sending me lengthy emails about how we need to invite his friends and he will invite them no matter what…lol delusional.

He also wrote that he’s so upset my uncle (who I’m not super close with and who’s been divorced 3x) should marry us instead of my fiance’s sister and how my cousins’ daughters should be in the wedding instead of my fiance’s nieces and nephews.

I love my cousins and their daughters but they have no interest and we’re also not as close to them as the nieces and nephews who we see multiple times per year. I immediately called him on the phone and he said it’s his and my mom’s wedding as much as ours.

He responded to me as a “little girl” for sticking up for myself and mentioning that if he truly believes it’s his wedding, then he should just renew his vows.

My mom is no better either. Months before, she’s tried to control the wedding list by “writing her own list” of which my fiancé and I tried to hear her out.

We responded “It’s our wedding and if there’s room after our friends get an invite, we’ll consider yours.” She’s also tried to tell my future mother-in-law what kind of dress color she should wear.

I went ballistic because she should never tell someone else what to wear, especially if it’s not her event. She cares deeply about “optics” and how she’ll be perceived.

Then comes a radical idea.

My fiance and I just want to have a fun and chill celebration with family and friends.

So with the holidays coming up and my fiancé’s family and mine living near each other, would I be a jerk for not seeing my parents? It’s been months of unprompted messages and lengthy emails from them and they don’t respect our wishes.

I have been getting extreme anxiety thinking about seeing them and re-explaining how upset I am. They just blow up and don’t listen. (Note: Every year with going back, I get anxious because they always say wild comments and are judgmental. In a larger setting with others, they try to play it cool and put on a fake midwestern nice.)

It’s the holidays and it’s awful to be leaning towards not seeing them, but I’m not sure what else to do. My brother also doesn’t travel to see them because of similar issues he’s had.

Here is what folks are saying.

I don’t know what their deal is.

They must have some sort of hold on her.

Why, though?

Great idea! You can do tequila shots and have lasagna at 1 AM.

I’ve never understood this blood point. So?

I hope their wedding is parent-free and an absolute blast.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.