When your son asks to spend his milestone birthday alone, is it fair to host a festive get-together with everyone but him?

This mom thought so, but her son’s icy reaction might suggest otherwise.

Now, she’s wondering if her well-intentioned holiday plans crossed a line.

Check it out and judge for yourself!

AITA for not spending my son’s birthday with him?

I 51(F) have one son, I’ll call him Dave for now.

Dave is from my previous marriage.

My ex husband and I broke up because we were young and inexperienced.

Either way after a long period of not talking at all we slowly repaired our relationship and remained friendly for Dave’s sake.

Both me and my ex husband are remarried.

And as odd as it sounds – we all get along.

Me, my ex husband, his wife and my husband.

They also have two more kids now and I regularly give the older one guitar lessons.

Go on…

Dave moved away after deciding to go to Uni when he was 19, and after graduating he decided to continue living further away from us.

We still keep in contact – but I’d say I see him a lot less often than I see my ex husbands children.

Dave’s birthday is on the 26th of December, and up until he was 22 we usually got together and celebrated at my house.

When he turned 22 he had a bad allergic reaction to the dogs and the evening was pretty much over.

After that he had no interest to celebrate with us again.

And for this year he announced as well that he’s not going to celebrate his birthday.

Even though it is more significant since he’s turning 25.

Can you blame him?

I still am getting him a present and all, but I respect that he wishes to spend his day alone or with friends.

He then asked me what I would’ve planned for that day since it’s still a holiday and I explained that his dad and his new wife would be coming over with the kids and we would have a little get together.

I joked that we would be drinking champagne in his name and maybe even bake a cake.

He didn’t take that well.

He didn’t yell or got loud on the phone but I could hear him mumble something along the lines of “of course you are” and then audibly just said “okay, have fun mom.”

That was two weeks ago.

I haven’t heard from him since and going this long without contact from him is weird, even if it is just a text or a phone call.

Poor guy must feel so hurt.

Every time I tried to call him it goes to voice message and it auto replies with “I’m busy.”

His dad hasn’t heard anything either but their relationship has been strained for a while.

He hasn’t texted his siblings either.

I don’t see how I’m in the wrong here since he openly stated he didn’t want to celebrate his birthday.

But I would like to hear some opinions.

It seems Reddit was firmly on Dave’s side, criticizing the mom for prioritizing a holiday gathering over making an effort to include her son, even if it wasn’t in person.

This person felt like she just poured salt on the wound.

This person can’t blame him at all for how he felt.

This person is saying it to her straight.

When your kid skips their birthday, maybe skip the party, not your relationship.

This mom has blinders on that she put there herself.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.