Birthday parties are more important to some people than others.

Kids, for example, love birthday parties, but as people grow up, sometimes the parties don’t seem as important.

In today’s story, a brother makes an excuse not to attend his sister’s birthday party, and that really hurt his sister’s feelings.

Let’s see how the story plays out…

AITA for not apologising to my brother after he missed my birthday

I (30f) have always loved celebrating my birthday.

My parents were not amazing parents but my Mum always made sure on our birthdays a big deal was made.

I got married quite young (21) and didn’t have a lot of money at the time so our wedding was very cheap, it was even BYO.

I still loved it but always regretted not being able to pay for a big meal for everyone.

So for my 30th, because I’m in a way better financial position, I wanted to do something where I paid for everyone’s food and drink and we all had fun.

Her brother got a new puppy.

I told everyone about it months in advance as I had to pre pay for the venue and let them know about catering.

It got to a month before my birthday and my brother (26m) hadn’t RSVPd yet so I messaged him to ask.

He said that he wouldn’t be coming as him and his girlfriend had just bought a puppy and could not leave the puppy unattended that long.

I responded asking him if there was no one else that could look after the dog to which he responded the dog was “his responsibility not anyone elses”.

Her brother thinks she is being difficult.

I explained to him how upset I was as it felt like he wasn’t even trying to come.

He said he didn’t see what the big deal was and I always make him uncomfortable by guilting him about stuff like this.

For context, I have gotten mad at him before for not attending my son’s birthday party and not letting me know he wasn’t coming.

We argued a bit about other history that’s not relevant.

What made me mad more than anything was his complete inability to empathise.

He made me feel like I was being the difficult one for being upset with him.

She really felt rejected by her brother missing the party.

5 years ago I would have lost it and told him to get out of my life forever but I’ve done a lot of therapy in that time.

I simply said I wasn’t going to let him make me feel bad for having a valid response to my own brother missing an important birthday to me.

I said I needed a break from talking to him so I could enjoy my birthday and I loved him.

We left it at that.

She is wondering if it’s best to apologize.

It’s been 6 months, it is now coming up to my son’s birthday and I sent him an invite as I don’t believe in withholding my kids from someone because I’m mad.

My parents did that a lot.

He hasn’t responded and when my Mum asked him if he was coming he said he was waiting on a conversation with me first.

In my family that means I will be the one that has to call and he will expect me to apologise for being upset with him or he won’t come to my son’s birthday.

He is more stubborn than I am so it will have to be the way it goes for him to come.

AITA if I just don’t apologise and continue the stalemate?

It seems like OP is taking missing a birthday party almost too personally.

However, if her brother had actually wanted to go to her party, he could’ve found someone to care for the puppy or put the puppy in a confined area on his home while he was gone.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story…

She could call without apologizing.

She didn’t seem excited about his puppy.

She’s kind of acting like a child.

Her brother is acting like a toddler.

They both need to learn to empathy.

What a mess.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.