Pregnancy brings excitement, nerves, and sometimes… drama.

A soon-to-be dad wanted to share the joyful news with his parents on his own, just like his wife had done with hers.

But when his wife asked to be part of the moment, feelings of exclusion, tradition, and miscommunication collided.

Check it out.

AITA for wanting to share our pregnancy news with my parents, without my wife

Me (37m) and my wife (33f) learned that she is about 8 weeks pregnant.

We are delighted but also terrified.

It is the first time for both of us.

She has asked me to not share the news with anyone until we get to about 12 weeks, when the pregnancy will be stable.

So I have been keeping it, even though I really want to share the news with everyone around me.

A key detail is that we are currently in long distance: she lives in the same country as her parents, while I am an expat and live alone.

She will move in with me and to our new house in one month.

Excitement’s hard to contain, but keeping her trust should come first.

She decided that she would like to tell her parents about her pregnancy before she leaves her home country, so that they can share some of the joy while they are together.

This way she can also do one of the ultrasounds with her mother and experience this special connection.

This is all understood, and I told her I support her in how she wants to handle the pregnancy information.

She did share it with her parents, and they were overjoyed – the house is in a festive mood, they cannot stop smiling and laughing, etc.

I am still under an information embargo though.

(note: I did ask her to let me share with a couple of select people, for my own mental sanity, since I really needed to be able to open up to a friend. She was fine with it)

So her parents get the celebration, and you’re left on “mute”?

Now to the drama.

I asked her if I could also tell my parents, to which she responded that she prefers me to wait for the 12 weeks.

By that time we will have moved in together in the country where I live.

I said fine, but then she asked me that we reveal the news to my parents together, she and I.

I can honestly not tell why, but I would like to tell my parents myself.

There are no other grandchildren in our family, and I have been living away from home (like three continents away) for the last 12 years.

So, in my mind, I really want to share this with my mom and dad and also have the same ‘joyous family moment’ like she did.

My wife took it badly.

I think she feels excluded or that I do not want her to somehow be part of my family?

Which on my part is absolutely not true.

I just feel like I do not want this to be a joint announcement sort of situation.

I want it to be intimate between me and my parents, and right after, we could all have a joint video call or whatever.

Hmm, priorities seem a bit off.

She is very upset.

I reminded her that we did not announce to *her* parents jointly.

She is saying that I did not express any desire to do so (which is true, I did not even think of it) … but since she is clearly communicating *her* desire to me, it is different, and I should hear her.

Sure, but I still want this to be my moment with my parents.

When I say it out loud though, “I want to announce our pregnancy to my parents without my wife” it sounds wrong.

Somehow it is like I have this righteous feeling of possessiveness over a piece of news/information.

I am conflicted.

Note: she and my parents do not share a common language and communicate via translator app.

Most Reddit commenters felt that they’re both parents-to-be, and the news is theirs to share together.

This person is calling him out hard.

This person is questioning everything.

And this person thinks he needs to be more selfless here.

Excited for the baby, but forgot to co-parent the announcement.

Whoops.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.