Employees Were Told They Had To Take Notes During A Meeting, So She Made Sure Not A Single Detail Went Undocumented
by Matthew Gilligan
Ugh, this brings back some painful memories…
Were you ever asked to be the official note taker at a work meeting?
It’s not very much fun!
But hey, the boss wants what the boss wants, right?
Check out what happened when this employee had to take notes…let’s just say that things got interesting…
Boss demands we take notes during mandatory Sales Training.
“This was written in real time on a G Doc shared with select members of my team and my GF who works elsewhere.
10:00am Team on site with the exception of G (VP) and R (COO)
10:03 G arrives. JJ (annoying colleague) notes her tardiness.
This meeting wasn’t going too well…
10:10 am.
There is no breakfast.
The peasants are restless.
Fruit and nut bars and tootsie rolls are apparently the Surgeon General’s new recommended balanced breakfast.
Hope is dwindling.
10:15
We are all recording brief selfie videos describing COMPANY.
The challenge of sending these videos to G has proven the story of the moment.
RA (Colleague) is the odd man out without an Apple device and the incompatibility has prevented the use of the AirDrop function.
10:18
JJ has made clear her displeasure with the first activity, both directly and through pained facial expressions.
10:21
R is absent.
He informed G that we should start without him.
Others have noted that they would have liked to know this is an option.
10:26
JJ mentions for the second time that the team was in at the prescribed 10:00 am start time with the exception of the two ranking members of our management team.
But wait, there’s more!
10:28
R arrives, exhibiting no signs of remorse or distress at his tardiness.
10:30
After leaving the room to film his video, R returns several minutes later and asks for assistance in recording a video.
The Chief Operations Officer promptly receives assistance Operating his computer.
10:32
Various members of the team continue to struggle to send videos to G.
This is the good stuff!
10:33
I eat a mini snickers bar.
10:34
G has yet to successfully send her own video to herself.
R returns and informs us his video is only 11 seconds.
Hedges against poor performance.
10:35
Non sequitur conversation about RA’s love life.
A trail of flowers leading to the bedroom proved a non starter for a woman on their second date.
10:37
Videos begin. A(Colleague) goes first.
Pleasant, if slightly insipid. Z(Colleague) looks very sleepy.
RA was monotone. JO(Jr Colleague) timid.
G full of wide eyed enthusiasm.
N (Colleague) stuttered and shot from an unflattering angle.
J phoned it in.
I did great, but JJ felt the need to compare me to an infomercial.
Not cool JJ. Not. Cool.
R’s video was poor.
10:44
G congratulates team on a job well done, citing my video as a positive example.
10:45
“mission” and “vision” defined. RA calls the website “****.”
Ouch…
10:46
Our mission statement displayed on screen with a typo and incomplete punctuation.
10:49
asked to rewrite mission statement:
10:54
The best buzzwords from everyone’s mission statement are being written on a whiteboard, now free of context or substance.
10:57
Z makes a snotty comment about my use of the word “service” twice in a sentence. Game on Z
10:58
Z basks in the barely deserved adulation of his peers for having a marginally better string of buzzwords.
10:59
G shuts it DOWN informing Z that his was more of a vision statement than a mission statement. BURN.
11:05
I inform our colleagues I would club baby seals if the price was right.
11:12
We draw vision doodles for the company.
Highlights include Paris location, Fortune 500 induction and jetpacks.
And on and on it goes…
11:16
We debate the merits of the term “Farm to Table”
11:19
JJ answers “advantage” but the correct answer was “feature.”
11:26
Next team activity is to film a commercial in groups.
Still hungry.
I offer to film to avoid further criticism of my on-camera prowess by JJ.
12:57
We reconvene.
Our commercial was clearly superior due in large part to the inclusion of early 2000s banger “hot in hurr” by lyrical genius Nelly.
Mixed reviews on new lunch wraps.
1:02
I am cited as an example of a “Relationship Builder” sales person.
1:03
Z reads over my shoulder. Not taking his own notes. Poor form, Z.
1:05
“Sell the dream, service the nightmare.”
1:08
JJ sneezed. Multiple murmurs of “Bless You.” None seem particularly sincere.
1:11
We each are instructed to take an online test to determine what type of salesperson we are.
1:16
RA distracts everyone with running ponderous commentary.
1:17
Quiz says I am a “Consultant,” the most well rounded category of salesperson, surprising no one.
More food…
1:20
I eat a mini Twix.
Earlier resentment of candy being the only food provided by G dwindles as I am no longer operating on an empty stomach.
1:22
N goes first and declares himself “Consultant” stealing my thunder.
Survey is flawed. My superiority no longer apparent.
1:24
G is a hunter closer. RA makes creepy joke about holding my hand.
Follows quickly by calling R a liar.
1:26 Another mini snickers bar.
Girlfriend remotely compromised integrity of my notes by adding in-line commentary.
1:29:
Boyfriend sucks and needs to share candy with his better half
1:33
Categorized as a Farmer type by G as opposed to a hunter.
1:35
A self identifies as hunter. Accepting nods from her peers.
1:36
JJ calls herself a “stalker.”
Uncomfortable mental images of her hiding in the woods outside an idyllic lake house.
Knife in hand, lipstick smeared. Prepared to strike.
1:45 15
minute break concludes in less than 10.
Heading for an early end? One can only hope.
Hungry again…
1:55
Thinking about dumplings.
Not a euphemism. Actual dumplings.
2:01
(Me) starts a conversation that is way off topic. -R
2:07
(Me) puts finishing touches on doodle of Stalker JJ
2:10
R excuses himself because the “Insurance Person” is here.
2:21
Last activity of the day announced.
RA demands to be on my team. Does Not follow through.
2:38
R comes back to the conference room and realizes there’s a bad activity going on and decides to leave again.
2:46
THATS A WRAP!
R just happens to walk in as we finish.”
Here’s what people had to say on Reddit.
This person shared their thoughts.
Another reader chimed in.
This Reddit user has been there…
Another reader spoke up.
And this individual was impressed.
That was one heck of a TEDIOUS meeting!
But at least there was candy.
If you liked that story, check out this post about an oblivious CEO who tells a web developer to “act his wage”… and it results in 30% of the workforce being laid off.

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