Helping family after a baby arrives is a time-honored tradition, but expectations can sometimes go too far.

When a mother-in-law is asked to take on full household duties after the birth AND pay for her own accommodations, she begins to wonder if this is support or servitude.

You’ll want to read on for this one.

AITA for refusing to a help visit for my DIL and son since they won’t allow me to stay in their home

My son married Sierra and they live two states over.

Sierra is from a culture where it is customary after she gives birth she will not do any household chores.

The family members (mostly women) will go over and do all those chores.

So cooking, cleaning, shopping etc.

She explained this to me and it happens for a few weeks after the birth.

So soon her daughter-in-law came to her with a big request.

She is not close to her family and it was asked of me to come up for a few weeks and do this.

My son will be back on call a week and a half after she gives birth.

She is suppose to give birth in about a month and I was talking about logistics of the whole thing.

But she wouldn’t just be responsible for household duties…

I asked were I would sleep and she informed me that I will need to get a hotel.

This shocked me since they own a nice home.

I thought it over and decided I do not want to do this.

She doesn’t find it fair at all, especially considering she’s already sacrificing so much.

I was already going to be doing them a huge favor by being a live in maid.

I was going to use all my PTO for this and now I will have to also live in a hotel.

This isn’t even a culture I am a part of.

So she set her boundaries.

I informed her that I will not be able to come up for the time she wanted if I have to stay in a hotel.

I am willing to come up for a weekend at most if I can not stay in their home.

But they weren’t well received.

I got a call from my son and he is ticked.

He told me that Sierra has been crying since and that I am being a jerk.

That I am disrespecting her culture and rejecting her from the family.

Her son makes excuses for his wife and shames his mother even more

He says he knows I could afford this.

(I could, but I don’t want to pay thousand of dollars to be a maid.)

We got into an argument. I explained my points about but he wasn’t having it.

AITA?

There’s generosity, and then there’s a full-time job with zero benefits!

Reddit is sure to have some strong opinions.

Her son and DIL could absolutely do more to sweeten the deal.

Maybe it’s time the new parents helped themselves instead of expecting everyone else to do the heavy lifting.

It’s not just in her head — This new mom really is asking for too much.

This commenter finds the request just plain rude.

She may respect the culture, but it doesn’t mean she should have to pay for it out of pocket.

Everyone has their limits.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.