Family customs are meant to bring people closer together, but they can also draw sharp lines in the sand.

When a man is approached about becoming the godfather of his sister’s child, he expects his wife to be honored alongside him.

But when she’s snubbed, he finds himself caught between defending his wife or upsetting his sister.

Read on for the full story!

AITA for declining to be the godfather to my niece?

My wife and sister haven’t gotten along for the last few years (barely talk to each other), and needless to say, it’s been difficult managing the inter-familial relationships.

My sister and I both have godparents who are husband and wife, as do my wife and BIL, as is typical in our area.

He shares what this role has traditionally meant to his family.

The expectation/tradition is that the godparents would raise the child(ren) should anything happen to the parents.

Though, as with most traditions like this, it has become a little more symbolic as of late.

Anyways, fast forward to Christmas of this year.

Everyone’s handing out presents, and in my family, everyone opens them up at the same time, so it’s a frenzy.

But then came a big moment.

Eventually, at the end of this frenzy, my sister and BIL hand me one last gift, which they wanted everyone to be around/attentive for, and they start recording with their phone camera.

Sure enough, I was blessed to be asked to be the godfather to my recently born niece.

But also a glaring exclusion.

But it was quite clear — by the lack of a godmother gift as well — that my wife wasn’t also asked to be the godmother.

So when I asked who it was going to be, my sister said she intended on asking her best friend because she helped her a lot during her pregnancy.

He didn’t find this fair, but decided to think on it.

I responded by saying that I am married, and it simply wouldn’t be fair to my wife should anything actually happen.

This goes back and forth for some time, and eventually, I just say that I will think about it.

I did genuinely think on this for some time.

He wonders how accepting would effect his wife.

Obviously, my wife was clearly disappointed in not also being asked, despite their tumultuous relationship, as it felt like a pretty clear snub by my sister to my wife.

That said, I also personally didn’t feel comfortable being the godfather to my niece while my wife wasn’t.

It didn’t feel right — whether that be because of my wife not being included or simply familial tradition.

He also felt his sister went out of her way to exclude her.

Truthfully, I also felt it was pretty divisive by my sister and BIL and intentionally exclusionary to my wife, as my sister is my only sibling.

So he made his final decision.

Come New Year’s Day, a week later, I took my sister and BIL aside and politely declined.

I stated that while I was honored, I simply didn’t feel comfortable accepting.

AITA?

He was honored by the title, but was it worth the cost of his wife’s dignity?

What did Reddit think?

It appears godparent customs differ by where you live in the world.

If his wife wasn’t close to his sister, it wouldn’t make sense for her to be the godmother.

Perhaps the gesture is more of a symbolic one.

Supporting his partner was an honorable thing to do — regardless of what his sister thought.

This man was caught between a rock and a hard place.

So even if it meant turning down an honor, he chose unity over tradition.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.