When I was in high school, and then later in college, I took a lot of Spanish classes.

Enough to be conversational, at my best moments.

These days I can barely remember how to ask where the bathroom is.

Learning isn’t enough without practice, which is at the heart of this conflict.

Check it out.

WIBTAH if I only spoke German to my husband despite him requesting I don’t?

I f(31) recently signed up to sit an advanced German exam with the full support and encouragement of my M(30) husband.

We live in Germany where I work in an English-speaking environment.

To get extra practice in, I told him that after x date, we’d switch to German, which he is fluent in (grew up here).

Immersion will teach you a language eventually, even without the formal education aspect.

We’ve managed two days so far, where even if he accidentally says something in English I answer in German, but last night he told me he needed a break from me speaking German.

I refused, and said it’s only for 10 weeks until my exam, then I’ll go back to English.

He says I don’t sound like his wife when I speak German.

Whoa. Things just got heavy.

I asked if it was because my mistakes were jarring or my vocab was causing issues.

He said it just ‘didn’t feel like he was speaking to his wife’.

I think it’s vital that I stick to my plan, to get my speaking practice in.

He seemed a bit sad after I said no. WIBTAH if I carry on auf Deutsch?

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The worldly commenters of Reddit weighed in.

Everybody can get behind some hard work and education, but a lot of folks really did see the husband’s side:

Some offered more actionable advice:

Some offered some DETAILED actionable advice:

This comments sums up the problem nicely:

We gotta balance our ambitions with our relationships, I guess.

Maybe don’t switch 24/7.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.