Trust is something earned and not given just because you’re family.

This woman has been a trustworthy and loyal friend to her cousin, but she found out that her cousin didn’t trust her completely.

She felt hurt and decided not to be her cousin’s bridesmaid.

Read more to find out the details of the story.

AITA for backing out of a wedding as a bridesmaid

I (37F) was to be a bridesmaid for my cousin’s wedding this summer.

She won’t invite her toxic parents, which I fully supported.

But there were a few idiots in the family whom she thought she should invite because “family” and “let bygones be bygones.”

They gave her C-PTSD, so I always fully supported her.

This woman’s cousin was perplexed as to who revealed the wedding location.

Someone gave her parents the time, date, and location of the wedding.

Her stepbrother told her they knew and planned on showing up, but he wouldn’t reveal who told them.

Her cousin went on a mission to find out.

So she changed the wedding venue and date.

However, she wasn’t sure who did it, and she didn’t want them to find out again.

So she went “hunting for a rat” so to speak.

She gave 5 different faux locations to 5 different “suspects.”

I ended up being one of them.

It was their aunt.

Wherever the parents thought the new location would be, she’d figure out who told.

Turned out, the real rat was our aunt.

She told me and the others the truth and that we “passed the test” and she apologized, but had to sniff out a rat.

She was hurt that she was one of the suspects.

I was deeply hurt she suspected me.

I’ve been close with her my entire life.

I have never done anything to betray her trust.

I am very hurt for being accused of something I didn’t do.

So she refused to go to the wedding.

I told her I’m resigning as a bridesmaid. I won’t be attending, but will send a gift.

She says I’m being unfair, she’s traumatized, so she had to sniff out who the rat was.

Her cousin explained why she did it.

The only other options were to uninvite the whole family, or she could risk a panic attack on her wedding day if she saw them.

She said this when I suggested hiring security.

I said I understand but am deeply hurt to have been treated as a bad guy.

She felt hurt that she wasn’t trusted.

I never betrayed her trust ever nor done anything wrong in my life to her.

I’ve been nothing but a good and loyal friend/cousin.

To learn she doesn’t trust me deeply hurt.

AITA?

I understand both points of view here. Let’s see what others have to say about this on Reddit.

This user shares their personal thoughts.

Here’s another honest opinion.

You sound selfish, says this person.

This person thinks she’s overreacting.

Finally, short and straightforward.

Some people make little things into a big deal.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.