We’ve all heard stories about noisy neighbors, and sure, sometimes pets are involved.

In this story, there’s an inhumane neighbor and an inhuman one, and even though one of them was the loud one, the other was obviously at fault.

Let’s parrot this crazy tale.

My neighbor had a very loud bird…

I moved into an apartment in the first floor of a complex.

My next-door neighbor owned a large bird (looked to be over 18″) that made loud noises most of the day and often throughout the night.

Talk about an annoying neighbor.

My roommate and I approached the neighbor (Bird Owner, or BO) a few times over the course of 6 months asking him to please keep his bird quiet.

BO said he would the first few times, but then would just tell us to mind our “own freaking business” after that.

This one is for the birds.

We would speak with other tenants in the building as we would see them in the hallways and in the parking lot and they had issues with BO for the incessant bird squawking too.

I called the management office to file a complaint, and they said they would need to investigate – which they eventually did.

Unfortunately, the bird was quiet when the ‘investigator’ came out, and nobody in BO’s apartment answered the door.

So, nothing came of it.

Of course, where’s the noise when you need it?

The squawking continued day and night and I recorded some of it and played it to the management office while filing another complaint.

They said there was no way to prove that the recording I played was from BO, and that they needed to witness the noise disturbance first hand.

Traditional channels were not working, so I decided to try something different.

I looked up what type of bird this was and found recordings online of the different sounds they made.

I located the sound that meant, “Warning! Predators in the area! Hide and be silent!”

This neighbor was determined to get revenge, bird by bird.

I put the speakers from my home audio system against the wall that was adjacent to BO’s apartment and every time that darn bird began to squawk I would play the “WARNING!” bird call at full volume.

The bird would shut up for 15-30 minutes.

This went on for a while, but it was by no means a perfect solution, as the bird would still squawk at random times and wake me up at night.

I ran into some of my other neighbors and we got to talking again about the annoying bird.

They told me that the bird was getting louder and completely out of hand.

I realized that they were not only complaining about the bird’s actual noises, but the “WARNING” recordings I was playing.

Is this plan backfiring, or brilliant?

This gave me an idea.

I searched for more recordings made by this particular breed of bird and began playing them loudly to see how the bird would react.

There was one specific sound that incited rage in the bird and it would go nuts for 30 minutes or more.

I began playing this sound randomly throughout the day at times I knew BO was home – the bird would go crazy and squawk loudly every time, and BO could do nothing to stop it.

I heard BO yelling at the bird, banging on the bird’s cage, and then other people yelling at each other from that apartment.

This was AMAZING! I could ruin their day!

Well seems they found the secret password for Angry Birds.

So I started playing the rage sound a few times every night, and the bird would go insane.

I heard people yelling, items being thrown, and over all of it, the bird completely losing its mind.

After a few days of doing this it sort of lost its sheen, so I called the management team and filed another complaint stating that the bird was making the noise RIGHT now, and that they needed to send someone to investigate.

The person on the phone said that they were already planning on sending someone due to the large number of complaints they had received over the past few days, and that they would be out within 10 minutes.

Timing is everything.

I got off the phone and played the rioting bird call – the crazy bird reacted just like before and went NUTS.

The investigator showed up soon after, the bird still screaming, and they had their evidence.

A week later BO was gone, and so was that bird.

The vacated apartment was left DESTROYED.

The apartment management had crews in and out of that place for weeks ripping out carpeting and flooring, replacing damaged drywall, appliances, and fixtures.

They had kept the bird in the bathroom, in and out of a large cage, and everything was covered in bird crap.

Killed two birds with one phone.

What I learned: A bird in the bathtub is worth two fists in your face.

Let’s see what’s squawking in the comments section.

One person says, this is some pricey neglect.

Another commenter needs some birding advice.

Someone else says all neighbors are the problem.

Another person says use scare tactics.

One person says, research pays off.

A little birdie told me this is a great revenge story.

You have to feel sorry for the bird, though.

If you liked that post, check this one about a guy who got revenge on his condo by making his own Christmas light rules.