Friendships can survive a lot, but weddings are notorious for exposing the cracks.

When one woman was snubbed for her best friend’s bridal party, she never expected to still be handed a lengthy to-do list.

You’ll want to read on for this one.

AITA for refusing to help my best friend with her wedding because she didn’t make me a bridesmaid?

My best friend [24F] — we’ll call her May — and I [24F] have been close since middle school.

We’ve talked about being in each other’s weddings, so when she got engaged last year, I assumed I’d be a bridesmaid.

But she was hurt and surprised when she got the news.

She recently asked me to help with the wedding planning, but when she showed me the list for her bridal party, I wasn’t on it.

I asked why, and she got awkward and said she had to make some choices.

There were some glaring inconsistencies that were hard to ignore.

The party included her sister, her fiancé’s sister, and a few newer friends she’s known for a couple of years. She wanted a small party.

I didn’t want to make it a big deal, though. I congratulated her and figured I’d still be a guest.

But May had other ideas.

But then she started asking me for a lot of help — things like dress shopping, DIY decorations, venue hunting, making party favors, etc.

I finally told her, “Hey, I love you, but I feel weird doing all of this when I’m not even a bridesmaid.”

Then May turned the blame back on her.

She got angry and said that she thought I’d still want to be involved because we’re best friends.

I told her I’d still be at the wedding, but I wasn’t going to do all this extra work when she didn’t even consider me close enough to be in her bridal party.

The drama rippled into the rest of their friend group.

Now she and some of our mutual friends are giving me the cold shoulder, saying I’m being petty and making the wedding “about me.”

But I’m not going to be doing bridesmaid-level work if I’m not one.

AITA?

If she wasn’t bridesmaid material, then she certainly wasn’t personal assistant material either.

What did Reddit have to say?

This commenter thinks she did exactly the right thing by setting a boundary.

There are multiple considerations that go into choosing a bridal party, so this user urges her to not take it too personally.

Not only would this redditor not comply with the bride’s demands, they might not even attend the wedding at all.

This bride doesn’t deserve any sympathy for her manipulative behavior.

The choice was abundantly clear here.: If she wasn’t in the wedding party, she wasn’t going to be the unpaid wedding planner.

Friendship is about give and take, but she refused to be the only one doing the heavy lifting.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.