Businesses will often bend over backwards to gain a new customers, but they do need to follow their policies and the law.

What would you do if you tried to open a new bank account but you wanted to use a funny signature and they refused to let you?

That is what happened to the new customer in this story, so he went out of his way to make sure they had to accept it.

Condiments The Great!

In reviewing some of my best memories of the last few years, I remembered an incident of malicious compliance that I found overwhelmingly satisfying and thought it’d be worth sharing.

While not as outrageous as some of the stories here, it left me feeling like I stuck it to our corporate overlords a bit.

To set the stage, I moved back to the US to take a job at a pretty big firm where I was also tasked with executive assistant responsibilities.

My boss would regularly send me downstairs to our local bank to pick up and deposit cash.

Having newly moved back to the US, I needed to set up a bank account for direct deposits and figured the one downstairs makes sense; also, it made depositing paychecks quicker and easier.

On the day I went to open the account, the manager of the branch sat me down to go through all the paperwork.

She was nice enough at first and I got through everything quite quickly.

This is pretty funny.

That said, when it came to the signature portion, I thought I’d have a bit of fun with it and create a silly signature; having just watched a Roman documentary the night before, I made my signature “<condiments> the Great” (obviously, I used my first name in place of ‘condiments’).

The manager did non bat an eye at this (assuming she didn’t read it), and said she’d process everything and give me a call when my card is ready to collect.

Cut to a little later, I receive a call from the manager saying there’s something wrong with the paperwork and I needed to come down to correct it.

When I ask what the problem is, she says that I’m not allowed to have a signature like that and I need to redo it using my actual name.

I say okay and that I’ll be right down.

Hey, bank rules are bank rules.

This kind of upset me though, because I’ve seen wild signatures that hardly resemble letters, yet they were still accepted.

I did some quick research and found that legally, a signature can be any mark that I plan on using consistently – it didn’t have to be a name, nor even resemble letters!

Being bored that day, I decided to press it and print out the laws regarding signatures and bring them with me to the bank.

When I met the manager, I told her that I’d actually like to keep the signature as is and provided her with the documents I printed outlining the laws.

She did not seem enthused at all and said she’d need a moment to discuss with her superiors.

A few minutes later she comes back and says, while I’m correct about the law, they require the signature to match the one on my driver’s license, since that’s the one currently associated with me.

I push back and mention that I wanted to have a new signature, but she was firm on it matching my ID or they wouldn’t open my account.

Cue malicious compliance.

I realized then that, since the state I moved to was different from the one I lived in before, I had to legally update my license, so I told the manager I’d think it over and get back to her soon.

I hurried upstairs and made a DMV appointment for later that week to get a new license.

The day of the DMV appointment, I brought everything I needed to ensure I walked out with a new license.

When it was time for me to provide a signature for the license, I again wrote “<condiments> the Great”, and was again met with pushback.

Oh, they will play games like that if they are legally required to.

The teller literally said “Sir, this is the DMV and we don’t play games like that”.

Welp, I whipped out the law to show them that I am actually allowed to use this as my signature, and the teller’s ego deflated real fast.

Long story short, I walked out that day with a shiny new license and my new signature!

I drove directly from the DMV back to the bank and met with the teller.

I told her that I will agree to sign the documents using the same signature on my license; I don’t think she could have looked any more smug.

She took me back to the office and sat me down to resign the documents, and I did so as “<condiments> the Great”.

When she saw this, she practically started shouting about how I’m wasting their time and either need to get serious or they’ll have me escorted out.

This is when I slowly removed my brand new ID and slid it across the desk.

Her face went blank, and I honestly couldn’t tell what she was thinking.

She asked me to leave the office for a moment so she could make a call.

She really wants to take a stand.

10 minutes later, she comes out and says, while my signature does match the one on my license, they are just refusing to do business with me and asked me to leave.

Not knowing the legality of that, I said okay and accepted defeat.

I walked back up to my office and told y boss that they’re not allowing me to open an account.

I told him the full story, and he actually found it hilarious.

He then said that he’d handle it.

Later that day, I received a call from the bank saying that they changed their mind and that they’ve opened the checking and savings accounts I requested 😀

I went to speak with my boss after who said that he had a productive chat with the manager.

Knowing how much business he provides the bank, he was happy enough to bluff on my behalf.

He essentially told the manager that not allowing me to open an account was directly affecting his business and that if they don’t oblige, he’d close his accounts and take his business elsewhere.

Anything to keep that customer.

Apparently that threat hit hard and the manager quickly backtracked saying that they never refused my business, just had to get approval from upper management.

At the end of the day I was victorious, and still use this signature on all official documents.

It’s a bit silly, but it’s my trophy and a good conversation starter.

That is too funny, and it is true that banks will do anything to avoid losing money.

Read on to see what the people in the comments say about this fun story.

Some people are sticklers.

This person thinks it is kind of risky.

Apparently this has some great benefits.

I guess lots of people have funny signatures.

This is too funny.

Now that is a funny signature.

If you liked this post, check out this story about an employee who got revenge on a co-worker who kept grading their work suspiciously low.