Divorce can be very hard on children, and it often only gets more complicated if one or both of the parents remarry. This is because stepparents and sometimes stepchildren are now part of the mix.

In today’s story, one boy doesn’t want to spend any time with his dad anymore because of his dad’s new family, and his mom is wondering if it’s okay not to force him to visit his dad.

Let’s read all the details.

AITA if I don’t force my son to see his dad a few times a year?

I (34F) have been divorced from my ex-husband (39M) for 7 years.

We share two children: a 9-year-old girl and an 11-year-old boy.

He left us for a 19-year-old, didn’t last long.

The divorce was really hard on her son.

Two years later, when he moved back into the area and bought a house, we were able to establish some consistency for the kids.

Our son had a tough time with the divorce. At 4 years old, he struggled with emotional issues, even hurting himself.

Over the years, things calmed down, and by the time the kids were 8 and 6, they had their routine and things seemed more stable.

The ex got a new job.

My ex and I have managed well enough usually arguing only when the kids weren’t around.

Our main issues stemmed from his tendency to make promises and lie frequently.

In Jan 2023, he lost his job, He eventually got a job about 45 minutes away, with training for a store that was over 1.5 hours away.

He began talking about moving halfway between our homes, which seemed reasonable.

He’s actually moving really far away.

But after a month of training, he informed me he was moving 6 hours away (later found out it was over 8 hours) for a franchise opportunity.

This news devastated the children, as we had been telling them he was just moving a short distance.

Although he promised to visit on weekends,which he did for the most part.

He showed up with a strange woman.

The weekend before his move, he took the kids to the zoo with a woman I had never heard of before.

Back in Dec before losing his job, he had mentioned bringing a woman and her teenage son to live with him.

She was the one, he loved her.

But when he lost his job, she left.

The woman is much more than a friend.

The woman at the zoo was a surprise.

When the kids got home, they mentioned her as Dad’s “friend.”

As usual, my ex was evasive when I asked questions, but eventually, after weeks of denial, he told me he’d married her.

I was floored.

This was not good news for the kids.

He met her online in March, married her in June, and she had 5 children, none of whom the kids had met.

My son went into therapy, needing support beyond just me, and my daughter cried for weeks.

The summer of 24 was hard.

My son was especially upset and decided to stop seeing his dad altogether.

Her son decided to try one more time.

After a few months, he wrote a letter to his father, expressing his feelings, and agreed to try again after five months of no contact.

Felt like progress for him to resolve the issues with his dad.

My ex’s new children, ranging from ages 5 to 13 wete now around all the time.

It didn’t take long for tensions to rise.

The visits with their dad do not go well.

My son didn’t want to continue the visits, not wanting to be around the new family dynamic.

After some compromise, I agreed he would see his dad every third visit, which led to improvements in his mood. He became much happier, had straight A’s, and seemed more at ease.

Things took a turn when he became distressed about visiting his dad again. He explained that his dad treats his stepchildren more favorably.

Both kids have expressed their discomfort with the situation. My daughter still wanting to try and my son being done.

AITA if I don’t force my son to see his dad again?

This sounds like a really difficult situation. I wonder if there’s a way for the dad to spend some time with just his children away from the stepchildren.

Let’s see how Reddit responded to this story.

This person suggests some one on one father and son time.

Here’s a good suggestion.

This is an important question.

This person suggests the mom should try to get full custody.

It makes sense why he doesn’t like visiting his dad.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.