It’s important to discuss important things early on in a romantic relationship.

Disagreeing about important life decisions like marriage and having children can be deal breakers.

In today’s story, one couple agrees that they never want to get married, but years later, the girlfriend changes her mind.

Now the boyfriend isn’t sure what to do.

He doesn’t want to break up with her, but he also doesn’t want to get married.

Let’s see how the story unfolds.

AITA for still not wanting marriage, even though she knew that, and is now really upset about it?

As someone who has been married and divorced before, I had mentioned quite early on in my relationship with my partner that I couldn’t see myself getting married again, but that I’d love a life partner.

She understood this, and actually agreed with me, and told me marriage wasn’t something that bothered her.

We’ve now been together for 7 years.

Over the course of the last 3 years, friends of hers have got married we’ve gone to the weddings and what not, and recently she told me that she’d love for us to get married.

That was not what he wanted to hear.

I instantly felt awkward.

I love her, truly, but I have no interest in getting married again and she knows this.

I told her very gently to please not say that, because I love our relationship.

I love her with all my heart, but marriage is something that puts me off after my past experience.

And I also brought up that she knew this and said she understood this.

The conversation got more heated.

She responded with “I know I know, but I can change my mind.”

So I said “Pease know how much I love you, but I won’t change my mind when it comes to marriage. I don’t want to get married again.”

She got upset, which upset me.

His girlfriend doesn’t understand where he’s coming from at all.

She now has it her mind that “if I loved her and thought this relationship was a sure thing, that I would WANT to marry her, regardless of my past experience.

The fact that I don’t want to marry her makes her think that I think this relationship isn’t built to last, and don’t want to commit.”

And that’s NOT the case at all.

This all came SO out of the blue.

We have an amazing relationship.

But now I feel really awkward and thrown by the things she’s saying.

She really doesn’t understand his perspective.

We were both upset and I asked her if she wanted to end things.

She said “Do you? ”

I responded “No! Not at all! I want to be with you.”

She replied “But you don’t want to marry me?”

Which just really threw me off even more.

He’s worried their relationship won’t survive.

It’s not about me not wanting to marry HER, it’s about marriage in general.

I tried to explain this to her the best I could, but she’s just suddenly changed her tune, after being absolutely fine for the last 7 years.

And knowing from fairly early on how I felt, and accepting, and understanding it.

It’s now caused a rift in our relationship.

And I’ve got a horrible feeling this might end us.

I don’t want that.

He doesn’t want her to break up with him.

But the ball is in her court and she’s been a little distant since that talk.

I’m now paranoid she’s going to leave me.

But I can’t marry someone again.

Its not about not wanting to commit to her.

I’ve said this, I’ve explained this.

Even his friends think he should marry her.

I’ve had a couple of friends “joke” and say “Oh just marry her.”

But I CAN’T.

What I’m basically asking is, AITA for risking losing her, because I don’t want marriage again, even though she knew that?

AITA for not just marrying her purely to keep her with me?

I’d absolutely understand if the marriage talk was something we’d never had before this point.

But we HAVE had that talk.

This is why this is all devastating to me.

Why not get married if he wants to spend the rest of his life with her?

Does a big party and a piece of paper really change their relationship in a negative way if it makes her so happy?

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

Their relationship is probably over.

They aren’t compatible anymore.

His girlfriend has a big decision to make.

This reader suggests watching a particular movie.

They want different things.

This might be the end of their relationship.

And honestly, sometimes that’s just the way things go.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.