There is a fine line between keeping things private and keeping your friends updated with your life.

This woman was worried about her friend after not hearing from her for months, but she also didn’t want to pester her friend.

Now, she’s worried that she said and did the wrong thing, because when her friend finally contacted her, she wasn’t happy!

Check out what happened.

AITA for continuing to reach out to a friend who left me on read for over 7 months?

My (26F) friend (25F) moved to Korea with her military spouse last year.

We met in college, were roommates during the pandemic, and used to keep in contact pretty frequently.

The move overseas was very hard for her.

She knows her friend has been struggling to some extent.

She’s on a military base in a foreign country, doesn’t speak the language, her spouse is gone on training missions for weeks at a time, and she doesn’t know anyone over there.

After being there for a few months, my friend began feeling ill and started going to doctors to see what was wrong.

It was at this time she fell off completely, going from multiple snaps/texts everyday, to absolute radio silence.

Initially, I assumed she was busy, the time difference made it hard, or that she had a lot going on and wasn’t up for reaching out.

This is where it gets bad!

It wasn’t until 5 months of no replies that I started to think something might actually be wrong, either with her health or between us. I was growing concerned, but I withheld asking her because I tend to overthink.

I couldn’t think of anything that happened between us, so I chose to believe that wasn’t it.

At 6 months, I texted to make sure everything was alright.

No response.

In retrospect, I should’ve left it there and maybe I’m TA for continuing to reach out. But I didn’t want to abandon a friend that I knew was struggling.

Things got more intense between them…

A few days ago, I reached out again with a similar sentiment, adding that I was worried that either something had happened, or that she was mad at me.

Last night, after almost 8 months of not hearing from her, my friend texted me back and she. Is. MAD.

She says I’m “hounding her in an attempt to twist her arm and get her to respond in a time and manner that I demand” and that I’m tracking her activity online to throw in her face as a “gotcha” moment.

Her friend took things the wrong way…

She says I’m taking it personally and making it all about me.

She says she’s “enduring great hardships” and wants her space, which I can appreciate, but says if this is how I treat a friend who is suffering, then she wants no part in it and has no tolerance for my behavior.

I’m stunned.

I’m giving it time to process and say the right thing, if anything at all.

I never expected her to reply right away. A quick “hey, I’ve been going through it. I just need space rn” anytime in the last 7 months would’ve been fine.

She knows the friend was being unreasonable…

But instead, I’ve been imagining my friend sick and alone, navigating a foreign country that she was already struggling with while healthy.

Maybe it’s none of my business, but I kept reaching out just so she knew someone was here thinking about her and wishing her well.

She isn’t sure what to do now…

And to be honest, things have been hard for me too.

Maybe not as hard, but there were times I wished I could have reached out to my friend to talk and catch up.

It sucks that my reaching out was read with such ill intent.

I’m worried I’ve ruined this friendship by pestering her and worrying about it. AITA?

UH OH! That sounds bad!

This friendship might be on the brink of sinking.

Let’s find out what the Reddit community thinks about this one.

This user thinks she was being problematic by wanting too many updates!

This user wants to know some backstory.

This user believes she was really concerned about her friend and deserved a decent reply!

This user wants to know if that’s exactly how the friend had responded.

This user thinks there’s very little information in this story to build a conclusion.

These friends aren’t very good at communicating.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.