“It’ll be fine as long as you don’t tell mom” are some famous last words.

Especially when it’s a parent who is saying them, because they should definitely know better.

And that goes double for a scenario when the child only legally belongs to one of you.

You’re going to want all of the details on this one.

AITA for not telling my wife about my stepdaughter breaking the rules?

I have a 15 year old stepdaughter, Alice, and have been involved in her life she was 4.

Two weeks ago, my wife and I were going to be away for work, but I ended up coming home early due to work issues.

Alice decided to take the opportunity to have her girlfriend over and did not ask or let us know.

In the context of the story, I think the girlfriend in question is a friend, not a romantic partner.

While this is obviously against the rules, she’s generally a great kid and it’s not like she’s a troublemaker or anything.

And my wife can be strict and overprotective.

So I basically agreed to not tell her mum this time as long as she actually talks to one of us next time.

But then, the discovery:

My wife ending up running into the girlfriend’s father and it came up when they talked about the girls spending so much time together apparently.

She knew I came home early, put two and two together and was not happy with either of us.

Alice is now grounded for a month, which is ridiculous for a first time offense when she hasn’t had any real misbehavior all last year.

Who’s in the wrong here?

I get it might not be perfect and while I’m involved in her parenting, I’m not the biological parent.

But in this context I feel a bit of slack is fair, you know?

Give her a bit of grace instead of excessive punishment proving my [dang] point in the first place.

But my wife is upset with us both and obviously thinks I am [a jerk] and wrong not to tell her.

Am I wrong here?

Let’s check the comments:

Who’s in charge here, and why?

Are you in, or are you out?

Communication is clearly needed:

Though not every comment was on his side:

Your mother, the internet, and I, are very disappointed in you.

They need to be more communicative as parents.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.