For most people, friendship is about support, not servitude.

So, what would you do if your stay-at-home mom friend started relying on you for more than just emotional support and started expecting you to clean her house?

Would you step in and keep helping whenever she asks? Or would you draw the line when it started to feel like you were being taken advantage of?

In today’s story, one friend finds herself in this exact scenario and needs advice. Here’s what’s going on.

AITAH for refusing to clean my SAHM friend’s house?

I have been friends with ‘Beth’ for a few years. We’ve always been close, but lately, I feel more like a maid than a friend.

Beth is a SAHM to 2 young kids, and her husband works long hours, so there’s a lot on her plate.

I totally get that being a mum is hard, especially as she’s doing so much of it alone, and I’ve tried to be as supportive as possible.

I regularly babysit when they need it, am always there to give her advice, and generally just try to help out when I can.

If I’m in a spot where I can’t babysit, I always offer to pay for them to get a babysitter.

Now Beth wants another favor.

But recently, she started asking me to come over and ‘help out’ with cleaning her house. She said she was finding it too much for her to handle with the kids (the youngest is still a baby), and she needed help.

Ok, no problem, I get that, and at first, I didn’t mind at all. I’ve cleaned her place a couple of times now and thought this was going to be an occasional thing as a good friend.

But she keeps asking for me.

She’s started asking me to come over every single week, sometimes multiple times a week, to clean up after her kids and tidy her house.

Here’s where she blew up.

I know she has a lot on her plate, but I also have a full-time job and my own responsibilities, including my own house to clean!

I told her that I just didn’t have the time anymore and offered to help her find a professional cleaning service. I have my own life, and I can’t realistically come over multiple times a week to clean up after her kids.

I thought this would be a given but she went nuts and said I was being selfish, that I didn’t understand what it’s like to have young children at home all day.

She said she really needed help and that, as her friend, I should be there for her and that this arrangement is completely normal amongst friends with young kids. (I’ve not personally seen this, but correct me if I’m wrong here)

She wouldn’t mind helping, but it seems like the friend doesn’t help herself.

The thing is, I wouldn’t actually mind as much, but when I’m there cleaning (because she’s supposedly too busy with the kids), she’s sat scrolling on her phone and mindlessly watching TV while the mess piles up around her.

She leaves dishes literally stacked in the sink, and when I come over, the house is a mess.

I know having kids is messy, but I’m starting to feel like she doesn’t bother because she can just call me to do it and knows it’ll get done.

I understand she has a lot going on, but I feel like she’s taking advantage of me. I work hard, and I’m already exhausted at the end of the week.

She’s happy to be her friend, just not her maid.

It’s not like I don’t want to help my friend, but I didn’t sign up to be her maid, and I don’t think I should be expected to clean up her whole house every week.

She hasn’t even offered to pay me for my time, not that I want the money, but she’s happy to spend on clothes and takeout every week. They’re not short of money.

She’s now furious with me for not being more supportive and said I’m throwing away our friendship over something so trivial.

I never suggested not being friends btw, just that I couldn’t keep cleaning her house every week. I feel guilty, but I’m also fed up. Am I being too harsh when she’s dealing with young kids all day?

AITAH?

Yikes! What an awkward situation all the way around.

Let’s check out what advice the fine folks over at Reddit have to offer her.

This is so true!

Here’s an excellent thought.

It sure is!

As this person points out, she is taking advantage.

She needs to put her foot down.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.