Office politics are the weirdest thing in the world sometimes, and when you don’t know what to expect, it can be hard to navigate them well.

This person thought everything was fine, but after she didn’t score an invite to an in-office party, she decided to talk to her boss.

Now, she’s wondering if that was the wrong thing to do.

Check it out.

AITAH for telling my boss that I wasn’t invited to the party?

I (26F) just started at a new job.

Congratulations!

But there was even more to celebrate:

I quickly realized that one of my colleagues, “Marie” is engaged and is getting married within the next 2 months.

It seemed like the whole office was attending the wedding.

I absolutely did not expect an invite.

She just met me, weddings are planned in advance, venues booked, etc.

My friend actually just got married so I saw first hand how it all worked.

I could tell Marie wondered if I was expecting an invitation and was hesitant to bring up the wedding around me, but I just never made it a big deal.

I don’t feel left out in the slightest.

And then came some mixed messages:

Then, I got CC’d on an e-mail from someone that the office, Joan, throwing Marie a shower during our lunch hour in the break room in a couple of weeks.

Joan was sending out a collection so we could give a group gift (cash) to Marie.

They also suggested we make it a potluck.

Joan included her Venmo and also asked we e-mail back with what we planned on bringing.

Even if I’m not going to the wedding, I still believe everyone deserves to be celebrated and Venmo’d the $20, as well as sent a reply saying I’d bring lasagna

But she’d been thoroughly mistaken:

A little later, I saw the $20 had been returned to my Venmo and Joan approached my desk.

She said I didn’t need to contribute.

I said even if I’m not attending the wedding, I’d still like to give Marie a little something.

Joan looked a little awkward and hemmed and hawed but then eventually said “You’re not invited to the shower”.

I was confused. I said “I can’t go in the company break room on lunch hour?”

She said yes.

I’m sorry, what?

I asked where am I supposed to go?

I don’t drive (I take public transit to/from work), we don’t really work near anywhere I could go to quickly for our lunch hour.

She said I could stay at my desk.

I pointed out this was a little exclusionary.

And then a very stupid loop ensued:

Joan said Marie didn’t want me to assume I was invited to the wedding.

I said I don’t at all.

I completely understand I haven’t worked here long and we’re not close enough.

I’m not hurt by that.

She said that’s great, but I still can’t come.

I asked if I had done anything to offend Marie and she said no.

She just doesn’t want me “getting my hopes up”.

I finally let it go and just said fine, have a good party.

The day of the shower, I sat at my desk during the party while everyone else went, eating my lunch alone.

One kind person snuck me a piece of cake.

Here’s where things get hairy:

Halfway through the party, the “big boss” came in.

She usually doesn’t work on Fridays, so it was a surprise to see her.

She saw me sitting at my desk and asked why I wasn’t at the party.

I told her I hadn’t been invited.

She was clearly perturbed by this.

Later on, she sent an e-mail out banning parties of any kind during work hours.

A few people, Joan and Marie included, realize I’m the one who told.

They’ve now turned on me.

So, in conclusion?

Some friends say I’m in the wrong here and that I should’ve lied to the big boss and said I was busy with work to finish or something, so as not to ruin it for everyone else.

AITA?

Let’s see what the comments make of this:

There’s no half-decent boss in the world who would be cool with this.

And this story raises one HUGE question:

I think the first sentence of this comment sums things up nicely:

Talk about needing a break.

These women were just rude for no reason.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons