Some people make it a point to buy a birthday gift for every friend and family member, no matter what.

So, what would you do if a friend insisted on making up for a missed birthday months later and expected you to split the cost?

Would you chip in to appease them?

Or would you stand firm and let them handle their own guilt?

In the following story, one woman finds herself dealing with this very situation.

Here’s how it all played out.

AITA for refusing to partake in a friend’s very belated birthday gift to another friend?

A friend (40M) and I (32F) recently took out another friend (32F) of ours for her birthday: we bought her drinks at a nice bar in NYC, and I also brought some chocolate truffles as a small gift for her to open.

The friend was very touched by our efforts to cheer her up as she is currently going through both financial and personal problems.

She also realized she did not do anything for her male friend’s, let’s call him George, birthday last August and spent a large part of the evening talking about how bad she felt.

A few days after we went out, she called to ask if I wanted to chip in and buy a gift for George.

I gently said no for a few reasons: we are now almost six months from his birthday, I did get him something when it was time for it and see him regularly and know him well enough to know that his birthday is the last thing on his mind right now.

Now, they’re questioning each other’s priorities.

I mainly also do not want to set off a loop in which the three of us feel that we have to “pay back” each other every time someone gives a gift (which is how she phrased why she is pushing for this.)

She then implied that I was not prioritizing him as a friend and also leaving her with the sole cost of the gift when we have chipped in for joint presents in the past.

That is what she and G did for my birthday in December.

I feel like her finances are the driving force behind this as she is deep in credit card debt, and even a $30 gift would be felt.

AITA?

This is a tough decision.

Let’s see what advice Reddit readers have to offer her.

This is a great point.

As this person points out, it’s not her burden.

Here’s how many people would feel.

This could definitely work.

Honestly, so much time has passed that she should either just call George and see how he’s doing or ask him out for lunch sometime.

That would be less awkward than a ridiculously late gift.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.