Is there anything wrong with training and treating kids like dogs?

Well, I guess it depends on who you talk to…

And that, my friends, is the moral dilemma at the heart of this story from Reddit.

Did this woman do anything wrong?

Let’s see what’s going on here…

AITA for disciplining my nieces and nephews like I would train a dog?

“So I (26F) moved back into my childhood home about 6 months ago after my mom passed away a year ago.

I work from home, and I decided to stay here to save money since I plan to buy a house in the future. It’s just me and my younger sister living here now, along with my grandparents next door.

We also have a lot of extended family in the area, including my cousin and his kids (ages 5, 4, and 3) and my aunt with her 6yrs son. When my mom was alive, she used to take care of the kids while their parents worked, but after her passing, the kids weren’t properly cared for, and their behavior got out of control.

My grandparents are in their late 60s, so they can’t really handle the kids’ energy and chaos anymore, and my cousins and aunt work long hours or are otherwise absent.

This wasn’t good…

Since I moved in, the kids started coming over to our house again because there was someone home (my younger sister used to lock the house every time she goes to school). I didn’t realize how bad their behavior had gotten until I started caring for them more regularly.

They were making messes everywhere, breaking things, and constantly causing chaos. I couldn’t focus on my work because they were loud, and have tantrums whenever they didn’t get their way.

I was constantly having to leave my room to intervene. It got to the point where it was really affecting my work, so I decided to step in and try to help discipline them, since no one else was, and their parents couldn’t be bothered.

She had to do SOMETHING.

I’ve always raised dogs and have experience training them, so I applied similar methods with the kids: I taught them patience, how to say please or just be polite, set boundaries, and rewarded them for good behavior with treats and playtime.

I’ve also made sure they communicate their needs instead of throwing tantrums and have helped them clean up after themselves. Over time, the kids started to get better – less loud, more respectful, and easier to manage.

They started to like me more than their own parents, following me around, and sticking by my side. I’ll admit, I’ve grown quite fond of them and really love them. Other family members noticed the positive changes in the kids and they have praised me for it.

But here’s where things went south: During a recent family gathering at our house, we were about to eat, and I was sitting at a separate table with the kids. We were just hanging out and playing while we waited for the meal to be served.

When the food was ready, I was managing the kids’ portions, giving them each a plate and making sure each one get their food. When it was time for the chicken to be served, the kids all jumped out of their seats and rushed toward the plate that I was carrying to get the drumsticks.

This is kind of hilarious…

I stepped in to stop a fight from breaking out, telling them “nahh uhh, no, go back and sit down” while gesturing for them to return to their seats. I wasn’t yelling at them, but I was trying to avoid chaos and keep things under control.

My aunt got really upset and said that I had no right to tell her son what to do. She then went off, saying that the kids should be allowed to have their freedom and not be treated like animals.

She told me, “Stop holding them hostage using food, they’re not dogs,” and accused me of trying to “wrangle them up” with food. She brought up a few other instances where she thought I had crossed the line, such as when I stepped in to discipline the kids or correct their behavior during other family events.

According to her, I’m being too controlling and treating the kids like pets.

Yikes…

The dinner was ruined after that, my aunt excused herself and went home along with her son and my cousin called the other three kids and also left.

So, AITA for disciplining my nieces and nephews like I would train a dog?

I just wanted to help them become better behaved, but now I’m feeling like maybe I’ve overstepped and should have let their parents handle things instead. I love these kids, and I’m trying to do what’s best for them, but maybe I’m getting too involved?”

Here’s what people had to say on Reddit.

This reader said she’s NTA.

Another person agreed.

This Reddit user shared their thoughts.

Another person spoke up.

And this individual had a lot to say.

Sounds like she was just trying to help.

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