When this bride chose her wedding date, she made sure to work around her sister’s big international move.

But now that her sister’s plans have changed, she’s demanding the wedding be moved again—and threatening not to come if it isn’t.

Should she change the wedding date again?

Read on for the story.

AITAH for not moving my wedding date so that my sister and her family can attend.

I need to know if I am being unreasonable.

My (27f) sister (40f) lives in another country with her husband and two kids.

Every year they come home for Christmas as both families are here.

As you can see my sister and I have a major age gap, this is due to having different dads, and for the most part she’s been like a second mother figure.

She hasn’t seen her sister a lot since her sister moved away.

My mum raised us on her own after moving to the country we now call home and when I was young my sister had to step in for looking after me as my mum went through a lot of issues when they immigrated. This is important so you get context of our dynamic.

My sister has always had an authority over me, more than what most older sisters do.

My sister moved away when I was 12 so the few times I’ve seen her have been a couple weeks a year, once they had kids it was even less.

Otherwise we are close and get a long.

She took her sister into consideration when she set a wedding date.

I got engaged in 2023 and at the time, my sister and her family had their plans set to move back home the following year (end of 2024).

My fiancé and I agreed to have our wedding May 2025 to accommodate for my sisters move.

We weren’t going to start booking anything until November 2024 so that we could just have a simple wedding with our immediate families and close friends.

The sister’s plans changed.

In September my brother in law informed us that he accepted a new job role in another country and that the family would move to Asia in June 2025.

Again, since we didn’t have anything booked, we simply told people we would be getting married in October if that was the case.

In January, my sister informed me their move to Asia wouldn’t happen until the end of 2025.

I didn’t suggest we change the date of our wedding because we had from September 2024 to Jan 2025 to settle on a date we liked, but she had asked me to consider December so they could also spend Christmas with the family.

Her sister implied she would like the wedding to be in December.

We have since found a venue we loved, in Feb, and reserved our date and paid the deposit as of this weekend.

There was a lot of arguments about inviting my BIL family as we wanted to keep the guest list small, but we compromised and instead of having 20 people we are including up to 50.

Conversations with my sister have been to the effect of “maybe consider doing the wedding in December so we can have Christmas with the family” or “think about doing a December wedding so we can come for two weeks instead of one”.

Despite those comments, never did she say that if we kept our wedding to October there would be issues of them being able to attend.

Now the sister is finally honest.

Last night, my sister asked me to move the date of our wedding to December with her reason being she didn’t want to come here for just a week and be jet lagged for a wedding to then fly back home and go straight to work.

She also told me she wants to spend Christmas with the kids and the whole family, so with the wedding being in October, only she would be coming to my wedding. Not my nieces who I wanted in the wedding. And not my BIL who has been part of my life since I was 5.

I am absolutely devastated.

She really wants her family at her wedding.

My family is small and I tried my hardest to accommodate where I could, even going as far as offering to buy flights.

To not have them there is simply upsetting to me.

I don’t get the respect of simply having my family be there for me because they’re uncomfortable or because my wedding is an inconvenience.

I’ve always made myself accommodating to her when they’re here. Id take work off or let them use my car when they’re here. Every year they’re here I spend more time with them than my fiancé over Christmas so that I can be present for the moments with the kids.

She doesn’t want to get married in December.

I feel like it’s not asking much to have them attend my wedding.

What’s more offensive is I had asked her to be my maid of honour to which she accepted but when my mum spoke to her shortly after, my sister told her I never asked her about that and it was the first she’s hearing of this.

To put it simply, December is always a busy time of the year for me, and now with an established career, I don’t want to deal with the busy period and finalising a wedding.

I also personally don’t enjoy Christmas due to the amount of sacrifice I have to go through to help my sister and her family when they visit. This will still be expected of me to fulfil if I was getting married in December.

My fiancé and I agreed we don’t want a December wedding for many reasons.

She really doesn’t want to change the wedding date.

My sister doesn’t communicate about things until it’s too late.

After we paid the deposit, she tells me they all can’t attend despite us having October 2025 in mind since September of 2024.

I told her a week ago we are setting our date in October, and she didn’t say a word.

We are already spending more on this wedding that we don’t want out of respect for our parents and extended families. To change the date means we have to pay an additional 50% of our venue hire fee. It just isn’t what we want to do.

Am I being unreasonable? Please let me know.

Imagine bending over backward to make your family happy only to be told your wedding is “too inconvenient.”

Reddit had plenty to say about this one…

This person says to stop even trying to prioritize the sister…it’s just not working.

This person says she’s tried so hard with no avail…so stop.

Really, the general consensus is stop prioritizing sister and start prioritizing hubby.

Family first…unless it’s your actual wedding, apparently.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.