The etiquette of the office can be a confusing landscape.

If you feel that someone isn’t dressed appropriately for a meeting, should you call them out on it or ignore it?

The man in today’s story seemed to think it was his place to comment on a coworker’s appearance and has no clue what he did wrong.

Let’s see how the story unfolds.

AITA for telling my coworker to “freshen up” for an important event?

I (32M) work at a company with the occasional events.

I take them as chances to network with people from other companies and so on.

Then entered Ben.

My coworker [33M], who we’ll call Ben is pretty scruffy.

Showing up to work in the same outfit he wore the previous day and even sleeping at his desk sometimes.

I’ve never interacted with him 1-on-1 per se but we’ve been on the same projects and I’m friendly with him.

As a scruffy Ben myself, I feel a kinship with this potential antagonist.

Here is where the issue is: recently, there was a company event, and, for once, Ben didn’t really participate or speak about it beforehand, so most of us assumed he wasn’t going.

I didn’t expect him to come of course, but he did in the most unprofessional outfit.

He was wearing wrinkled clothes and colors that didn’t match. Like he rolled out of bed.

He walked up to my circle and we locked eyes and I joked that he should’ve freshened up a bit to an event like this and there were some chuckles but everyone was mostly silent.

It didn’t go over very well.

He soon walked away and my other coworker pulled me aside and told me that I was way out of line, and her and my colleagues think that I shouldn’t have spoken about his attire especially since I don’t know him very well.

I thought I was just making a joke to lighten the mood.

I haven’t seen him since and he’s been actively avoiding me.

Mostly everyone in my circle is expecting me to apologize to Ben, AITA for making a joke?

It’s not a joke if it hurts someone’s feelings.

Let’s see what the comments have to say on Reddit:

This person wondering what part of what he said was a joke.

Seems like this guy is probably already going through it.

Also, you have to understand what a “joke” is.

Like, look it up.

It wasn’t your place in any case.

As someone who’s worked a lot in comedy, I can confirm that just insulting someone witlessly does not count as a joke.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.