It is heartbreaking when parents pass away and leave children orphans.

What would you do if your brother passed, and now some extended family members are pressuring you to adopt his son even though you never wanted kids?

That is the situation the aunt in this story is in and she isn’t sure what she should do.

Check it out.

AITAH For Not Adopting My Nephew Even if My Brother Might Have Wanted It?

Due to growing up in dysfunctional household, I (F35) believe that you CAN choose family, and my brother Jim(M38) is my only blood-related family.

I’m not American.

Jim should’ve never been a father, nor did he want children, but his ex stealthed him.

When she passed of birth complications, he felt obligated to “take responsibility” for his son Jack (M8).

While he was (according to third party accounts) outwardly a good father, he privately confided in me that he hated being a parent and resented his life, his ex, and wasn’t sure if he loved Jack.

Not a great father.

He outright referred to Jack (only to me) as a burden and a parasite.

I never developed a relationship with my nephew.

I can’t stand kids, and Jim did not push me to be an involved aunt, so I never bothered.

While I don’t dislike Jack, I don’t personally care for him as a person-he’s my brother’s kid and nothing more.

That is awful.

3 years ago, Jim developed cancer.

There were ups and downs, but he eventually lost the war and passed away 3 weeks ago.

My aunt (F55) was the designated guardian, but then she lost her job.

They are tired of dealing with him.

My relatives are trying to pin my nephew onto me, but I refused.

In pressuring me, my relatives have been relentless, calling me a monster, selfish, a sociopath, a psychopath, and accusing me of betraying Jim, etc.

Admittedly, I would (reluctantly) adopt Jack for JIM, but I don’t feel obligated to.

My brother has privately told me that I should never become a parent against my will, not even for family.

He also shut down relatives who pressured me to adopt Jack during the initial search for a guardian (before my aunt volunteered).

He publicly cited my lack of maternal instincts but privately told me that it wasn’t my burden to bear, and that he wanted me to be happy.

Maybe be there to help with the child, but not be the primary caregiver.

I still have this lingering doubt because Jack wasn’t eminently at risk of being sent to foster care when Jim gave me my out.

But I don’t want to ruin my life for the tiny off chance that my brother would’ve changed his mind.

AITAH?

Just because the aunt lost her job doesn’t mean the kid will go in foster care.

Let’s see what the people in the comments say about it.

Yes, her brother didn’t want her to have him.

I agree with this commenter.

Yup, exactly.

Yes, they don’t want to deal with it.

Good point.

This is a heartbreaking situation.

Mostly for the kid.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.