Get out the pushpins and yarn, everybody. This one is complicated.

We’ve got an absolutely dizzying story of complex family relations, and the strange ripple effects they have over the years.

There’s an upcoming wedding, broken friendships, bullying, an affair and divorce all rolled into one big mess.

Here it is. Better pay attention.

AITA if I don’t invite my stepmother, who had an affair with my father, to my wedding?

Alright guys here WE GO.

The background: she is technically no longer married to my father, they got legally divorced for financial reasons (my dad basically doesn’t want her taking his money) but still live together and don’t tell anyone they are divorced.

Hate is a strong word, but…

I HATE her and I don’t say that lightly.

The story goes, I met her daughter in 7th grade and we became close friends so her mom and my mom became friends.

In 8th grade, I realized her daughter was a terrible girl and our friendship ended because she got a “new best friend” in 8th grade and would purposely exclude me from activities, sit with her back towards me at the lunch table to talk to her new best friend, etc.

Unfortunately, her mom and my mom remained friends.

THEN, freshmen year of high school: my mom and I find out she is having an affair with my dad.

It’s just a lot of aggression.

So my ex stepmother, was friends with my mom and also has a daughter who bullied me, and had an affair with my dad and got married to him when I was 19 years old.

(After my dad tried getting back with my mom twice but cheated on my mom again with my stepmother so my mom finally had him leave)

Since their marriage, she has seen my mom once at the grocery store and called my mom a “*****”.

Something I will never forget to go along with everything else she already did.

There’s so much animosity.

She’s said rude things about me behind my back, that my dad told me about like “getting a degree in social work is easy” even though she’s never been to college but that was in my early 20s.

I am 31 now.

She also just always looks at me with this “stank” look on her face almost all the time.

I know she probably secretly hates me because I’m my mother’s child and she’s jealous of course.

I have to deal with her whenever I see my dad and we just keep it civil.

I haven’t honestly had issues with her in a long time. Her presence just annoys me.

Dad doesn’t seem like a great character either.

She apologized once about having the affair when she was crying to me that my father gets abusive, but I already know and don’t feel sorry for her.

She is such a selfish person and only cares about how she looks to others – fancy clothes, cars, etc.

I have issues with my dad at times.. but he’s my dad.

But he can be narcissistic and has undiagnosed mental health problems.

My dad has told me numerous times they do not love each other and are only together for financial reasons.

So what should she do now? What CAN she do now?

Do I invite her to “keep the peace” and keep my dad happy?

Or risk my dad possibly not showing up to my wedding because I don’t invite her?

I already mentioned to my dad I didn’t want to invite her and he was not happy about it.

I think about how I was too complacent sometimes when I was a kid, even attending their wedding as a bridesmaid.. how messed up is that?

So AITA if I don’t invite my ex stepmother, who was friends with my mom and had an affair with my dad, to my wedding?

Let’s see what the comments make of all this:

Of course, he could just break the rules.

Don’t they sound like a fun pair…

How do you really feel about either of ’em?

I just hope you can keep your happy day happy.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.