It’s one thing to give a thoughtful gift, but it’s another to use it as a way to insert yourself into someone else’s plans.

What would you do if your mother-in-law gave your husband a birthday gift that was clearly intended for your baby’s nursery, even after you’d made it clear you had your own vision and timeline for setting it up?

Would you give in and let her get a win?

Or would you refuse and protect your boundaries?

In the following story, one expectant mother finds herself dealing with this exact scenario. Here’s what she did.

AITA for refusing the bday gift my MIL gave my husband?

My husband (32m) and I (30f) are expecting our first child this June. Both our families have been supportive and understandably excited.

We recently vacated a room that will soon become the nursery. My husband mentioned to my MIL that he was thinking of giving the room a fresh coat of paint while I was away during a specific week in February.

The following week, she said she was going to take the time off work and make the drive (4 hours) to come stay at our house and help him paint.

He told her it wasn’t a good time for him with work, and that he wasn’t even sure he’d end up painting then – it was just a casual idea.

His mother is very interested in the nursery.

Since then, she has brought it up at least 5 times to us both, asking us to let her know when we’ll be painting so that she can come and help.

We’ve been non-committal because the paint job will really be just a few hours’ work, and we weren’t looking for help. We’re already visiting her city twice in April, and then she’ll be coming to visit us again in May, so it’s also not necessary for her to plan an extra trip.

She’s asked what else we’ve done to set up the nursery, and I told her I wanted to wait until after my shower in April to begin purchasing what wasn’t gifted from my registry. She knows we’ve intentionally bought nothing for it ourselves and have no plans to touch it until then.

To add fuel to the fire, she gifted a piece of art that won’t work.

Last week, my husband was passing through her city, and she gave him a belated birthday gift.

It’s a piece of wall art for the nursery that’s related to the theme we told her we’d be using, but it doesn’t match the items I’d already picked (which she could see on the registry), and it’s also just not really my taste.

She told him that if he doesn’t like it in OUR nursery, she’ll put it up in the nursery she has in her house for the grandkids (our child will be her second).

Now, she and her husband have differing opinions on what to do.

When my husband came home, I told him I didn’t want to put it in our nursery because it feels like she’s being pushy (with this and the painting) and trying to nest for our baby preemptively on my behalf, after I’ve made it clear I have something specific in mind and won’t be actioning it for a couple months.

Offering to put it in her house instead feels like a tactic to force us to tell her point-blank that we don’t want to use it, and my husband has an extremely hard time with those kinds of conversations. Plus, it feels manipulative, especially as a birthday gift instead of as a baby gift at the shower she’s coming to this April.

I won’t use the art, and I don’t feel bad about it. But my husband thinks we should use it anyway bc it’ll be awkward if we don’t, and it isn’t a big deal.

I told her if he feels awkward, I’m happy to have a conversation with his mom to explain that I wanted to pick things out for the nursery myself, and what she gave us doesn’t fit with what I had in mind.

AITA?

Yikes! This would bother most expectant mothers.

Let’s see what the fine folks over at Reddit have to say about this MIL and her actions.

Here’s someone who thinks she’s in the wrong.

Yet another person who takes the MIL’s side.

According to this comment, the artwork belongs to her husband, so it’s his choice.

Very valid point.

She needs to learn to relax.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.