When it comes to blended families, things don’t always go as smoothly as you might have hoped.

Often there will be some jealousy between the kids, or parents being played off against one another.

But when the couple in this story got married they made one thing clear: their own child will always be their individual priorities.

And this worked out for them for a long time – until it didn’t any more.

Read on to find out what happened to make this woman’s husband jealous and demanding equal attention for his own son.

AITA for favoring my daughter over my stepson?

I am 34, and I had my daughter Olivia (now 17) with my then boyfriend Martin when we were seventeen. We had finished high school just a couple of months prior, and we decided to keep the baby against our family’s wishes.

We worked and studied for our careers at the same time, and we managed to raise Olivia.

She never lacked a food, but she lacked many times things she would see her classmates get.

Martin and I eventually broke up, but we remained friends and have maintained a good co-parenting relationship ever since.

Lets see how things have changed for this woman now.

I eventually graduated, got a great job, was able to buy my own house, and I married my husband Caleb (38) four years ago after dating for three years. He was divorced and he has a son, Ian (15) from his previous marriage.

I don’t have a good relationship with Ian. Not because we fight or something, but because we rarely see each other. He spends only some days of the week with us, and I work many hours.

I spend the rest of my time with my daughter, my husband or my friends.

From the beginning, I made clear that Olivia would always be my first priority, no matter what; he said the same about his kid.

Olivia and my husband have a cordial relationship, but they never got too close. My daughter is pretty reserved, so it’s only normal for them to not be so close.

Regardless, everything seemed to be going relatively smoothly with this blended family.

When Olivia was twelve, Martin and I decided to save money on an account to buy our daughter an apartment. It’s almost impossible to own an apartment or a house these days at a young age, especially in Latin America, so we wanted her to have a secured place since we had the money.

But since she was always someone stubborn and proud, we had this idea of buying a pretty big apartment, one that was completely destroyed, needed a huge renovation and was completely empty, in a city nearby.

We bought it when she was fourteen, and we told her the apartment was in her name and she could get access to it once she started university, but we told her she would have to work to pay for the renovation and the furniture.

She was more than happy with this, and started to work shortly after.

She gathered a lot of money, and I arranged for the renovations while she was in her last year of secondary school. She also bought the furniture, and the apartment ended up really nice.

She left at the beginning of the month to start university.

But then the tides started to turn.

My husband really liked this.

He said he wanted to do the same with his son, but he wanted to buy him an apartment in good condition, along with all the furniture. He said he had already spoken to his ex and her husband, and they had agreed on contribute.

Caleb asked me to put some money in the savings, but I told him I couldn’t, and I gave him my reasons. Basically, my mom is sick with cancer, and I’m the only one of my siblings who can actually afford to pay for her treatments.

Not only that, Martin and I have decided to pay for all of Olivia’s services and give her money every month. We want her to not only focus mainly on university, but to be able to make friends and adapt to her new life in a big city.

Let’s see how Caleb reacted to her turning him down.

Caleb was pretty angry with me.

He told me it was not fair for me to not contribute, since I’m Ian’s stepmother and need to step up, and perhaps I should let Olivia get a job since she’s about to turn eighteen.

I got pretty angry at this and told him that only Martin and I will decide how to raise Olivia and what to give her, not him, and I reminded him that I always told him that my daughter was first.

I told him he was delusional if he thought I would let my daughter manage everything alone when she’s not even a legal adult, just so he can buy an apartment to his son. No matter what, she will always be first and that’s how things are supposed to be.

I offered to help him in the future to buy the furniture or to pay the bills, but said that at the time, I can’t help him.

He told me I was favoring my daughter, then left and hasn’t spoken to me since.

I refuse to apologize when I believe I haven’t done anything wrong.

However, other people made her question her choices.

Now, I know my husband doesn’t make much money. I make much more than him, and I know that his ex and her husband doesn’t make much either, so if I don’t help, they will never be able to buy an apartment for him.

But right now, I have no other choice.

Some of my friends told me that once I get married with a person with a kid, I’m also taking responsibility for their kid, and I should give him the same treatment I give to my daughter.

Honestly, I think this is nonsense.

Ian has a mother and has a father, and I don’t think he ever expected me to be a parental figure to him and to treat him with the same love as my daughter. I think that those kind of things can’t be forced, it should happen naturally, and since we’ve barely spend any time together, that hasn’t happened.

Plus, I just could never love my stepson as much as I love my daughter. I could never treat him equally, my girl will just always come first. I care for my stepson, but he just isn’t my kid. Also, I feel like it’s pretty unfair because Caleb doesn’t treat my daughter as he treats his son. And I don’t expect him to.

AITA?

This situation is extremely complex – and of course, all parties involved have different incomes and priorities.

But her friends are right, now they’re married if the pair had both contributed to her daughter’s apartment, they should both contribute to his son’s apartment too.

However, it seems like this is not the case: the apartment was paid for by the mom and her ex. And the equality is important here too: the daughter got an unfurnished fixer-upper, so the same should be the case for the son – if, that is, his parents can afford it.

Let’s see what the folks of Reddit thought about this.

This person agreed that if her husband didn’t contribute to her daughter’s apartment, she is under no obligation to contribute to his son’s.

And this Redditor clearly labelled each unfair point.

Meanwhile, this person questioned Caleb’s morals and priorities altogether.

It shouldn’t be all on her.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.