Being compared to other people is the worst.

In this woman’s case, she was compared to a bad friend her friend Abby had in the past. Not fair, right?

Well, now she’s wondering if she’s in the wrong for being upset with her about it.

Let’s find out.

AITA if I (21f) told my friend (21f) that just because her old friend has a similar personality trait as me doesn’t make me her?

I (21, F) and my friend (21, F) are in a massive fight.

My friend (let’s call her Abby) had a friend (let’s call her Emma) in the past who was awful.

They lied a lot and said some pretty awful things – also caused a lot of fights in her old friend group.

Well I met Abby almost a year ago and as I met her friends, one of them (let’s call her Jessica) accused me of being exactly like Emma.

When Abby told me what Jessica said, I asked her why.

She said that I have a similar personality trait to Emma.

She was projecting her feelings onto her.

When I asked her what it was, she said “your stubbornness”.

At first I was like, okay whatever, but as time has gone by Abby is requiring me to prove everything I do or say.

For example: last year I was diagnosed with a serious illness and was in and out of the hospital.

I told Abby about it and a few weeks ago, she asked for me to show her proof.

This put a strain in their friendship.

I argued with her and told her that it’s disgusting that I have to pull out medical documents to prove I’m sick.

I showed her my medical files – even pulled up my health charts online.

She cried and begged for me to forgive her.

I got mad and asked her what I had done to warrant the lack of trust and all Abby says is “you just remind me of Emma”.

Wow. She wasn’t satisfied with this reply.

So I asked her, “Is there anything I have personally done to warrant the lack of trust?”

She said no.

So I kinda lost my cool.

I told her that just because she had a bad friend in the past doesn’t mean she gets to put that trauma onto me.

I told her that I don’t appreciate being compared to someone who is a liar and awful friend, when in fact I have helped Abby so much these last few months.

Apparently her friend couldn’t help it. Her brain was poisoned.

Abby then said that ever since Jessica said it, she can’t get it out of her head.

I then told Abby that if she can’t resolve her trauma and can’t come to her own conclusions without her friend’s influence, then I’m not interested in being friends anymore.

(Quick note: Abby doesn’t even like Jessica! They only hangout cause they’ve known each other for a long time but they constantly fight and Jessica has a questionable character).

But now she’s wondering if she’s in the wrong for her reaction.

Many people have told me that I’m right for being upset, but I feel bad now.

Like I get she has trauma from that friend and I take trauma very seriously.

The only issue I have is this all came up because of Jessica – not because I actually did something to warrant this.

I also am mad that just because I’m stubborn, that must mean I’m a pathological liar.

AITA?

Punishing her for what another person did is extremely unfair. They need to talk and establish healthy boundaries.

Let’s see what Reddit has to say about this.

A commenter shares their thoughts.

That’s an interesting question.

I like this perspective.

Word.

Another commenter chimes in.

This person has a different take.

She should tell her that she reminds her of a friend who kept comparing her to other people.

This is so, so strange.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.