When planning something personal, the last thing you want is someone turning it into drama, especially when they weren’t invited to begin with.

What would you do if your parent’s partner expected to be part of your micro wedding celebration, even though you made it clear it was just for immediate family?

Would you reach out first to smooth things over?

Or would you stand your ground and let them come to you?

In the following story, one bride-to-be finds herself in this exact predicament and is unsure if she’s in the wrong.

Here’s what happened.

AITA for not inviting my dad’s partner to my micro “wedding” dinner, and for not reaching out to her first to explain why?

My partner and I are getting married this summer, and we’ve decided to essentially elope.

We’re going to have a private ceremony just the two of us during our honeymoon.

Not only does this align very much with who we are, so no one in our life is very surprised by this, but we’re also doing it because: 1. our families live scattered across the world, and a larger event would mean leaving a lot of people out, and 2. We want to avoid drama.

However, what we do want to do is get dressed up, take photos, and have a dinner together with our immediate families.

So essentially, a micro non-wedding celebration.

This is where the issues start.

Both of her parents were fine with the plan.

So I told my parents I wanted to have this small event with just them, my partner, and my sister (not including their “new” partners).

My parents went through a nasty divorce when I was in my teens, and for several reasons that I explained to them, I wanted an intimate event just the five of us.

My mom was fully supportive, saying she could understand why this would be so meaningful for me.

My dad understood, too, but he wanted me to be the one to break the news to his partner (54F).

Her father’s special request wasn’t going to fly.

I didn’t think I had to, because it’s not like I’m calling everyone single other family member who isn’t invited to explain this decision.

But I said that if she’s upset, she’s more than welcome to call me and we can talk about it.

His partner is very sensitive, and we’ve clashed a lot over the years because I don’t think she’s ever been fully willing to understand the nuances of coming into a family after a divorce.

Now, her dad’s partner is upset, and he wants her to fix the situation.

Their relationship started shortly after the divorce, and she tried to parent both my sister and me (who were teens/pre-teens) from the get-go.

But even though we’re not close, I’ve done my best to otherwise be welcoming and kind.

Well, now he’s told her, and all **** has broken loose.

She’s completely beside herself, and he wants me to mitigate the issue and reach out.

I’ve reiterated that she’s free to call me – if she can’t possibly understand why this is about me and not her (and I can understand she’s disappointed, but so is, I assume, everyone else) then she should reach out to me.

AITA?

Yikes! She’s coming across as very selfish.

Let’s take a look at what Reddit readers have to say about the dad’s girlfriend.

This person sees nothing wrong with not inviting her.

Here’s someone who thinks she’s rude for not allowing them to bring their partners.

As this person points out, she’s a grown woman.

This person doesn’t like all the disrespect.

It’s her wedding, but a little understanding goes a long way.

She expects them to come celebrate her relationship, but they can’t even bring the ones they love – it’s not fair.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.