Maintaining close friendships after college can be tricky, especially when strained by time and distance.

One friend wanted a place to crash for a night, but when she refused to prioritize catching up, she began to feel more like an afterthought than a valued friend.

Read on for the full story.

WIBTA if I told her she cannot sleep at my apartment anymore?

In 6 weeks, a friend will be staying over for a night after her work trip.

Since she moved over 500 km away, we don’t see each other that often anymore, so when she asked, I said yes.

I also visited her before, so of course, I’d let her stay.

She was hoping the two could catch up, but her friend seemed noncommittal.

I suggested things we could do, and she said she doesn’t know yet.

She wants to visit her old roommates but also texted two other people who haven’t replied yet.

So basically, if they don’t answer, we can do something.

This doesn’t sit right with her as the host.

Honestly, I feel used.

She doesn’t plan to spend any time with me but sleep at my apartment.

I knew/thought she wanted to meet up with as many people as possible, but I thought we’d also spend some time together.

And if we only have coffee when she arrives, but she made it quite clear how spending time with me was the least of her priorities.

Looking back, it feels like their friendship has been on the decline for a while now.

But honestly, I’m not surprised; when I visited her last summer, it was a very unpleasant experience, and I already questioned the friendship back then.

She doesn’t really even need to save money.

I don’t want to be used for a free place to sleep.

She makes enough money to stay at a hotel.

We’re not in uni anymore.

WIBTA if I told her something came up and she can’t stay at my place anymore?

More than anything else, friendships require mutual effort to thrive.

What did Reddit make of all this?

This user thinks she should make an exception, just this one.

Maybe all of this is just one big misunderstanding.

The plans still sound flexible and it doesn’t sound like she’s excluded from them.

On the other hand, this commenter thinks she’s right to trust her gut about this.

At the end of the day, it’s important to ask yourself if you’re really getting what you need out of any given relationship.

Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is knowing where to draw the line.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.