There are fears, and then there are phobias, paralyzing anxieties that deeply impact their bearer’s ability to function in day-to-day life.

Some of them can cause lifelong harm, and require psychological or medical treatment to overcome.

In today’s story, we meet a couple who is letting an argument over one of their phobias become a major communication issue.

But is there more going on than the girlfriend’s sensitivity to her fear?

Check it out for yourself.

AITA in this argument with my boyfriend for saying my phobia “isn’t a big deal?”

This might sound crazy, but I would love some unbiased input.

I was having some stomach pains tonight and went to talk to my boyfriend about it, because I always get bad anxiety when having any kind of stomach upset.

I have had emetophobia (fear of throwing up) since I was little and it has always had a big impact on my life.

This fear has always been a problem with her. But is her boyfriend sensitive to her issues?

As I start explaining, he says that “throwing up won’t kill you” and “it’s actually good for you, it’s your body expelling toxins.”

While logically I know these to be true, it doesn’t help my phobia.

I have been through all this with therapists and friends already.

I just needed some comfort.

She’s even worked with therapists to resolve the issue and his lectures aren’t helping.

He then proceeds to say “its not that big of a deal” which really got me upset.

I explained that just because something isn’t a big deal to you doesn’t mean it isn’t to me.

I explained that it was lacking compassion for my issue.

He later apologized and I took some time and forgave him.

She thought they’d talked it out, but sensitivity goes both ways.

Proceed to 20 minutes later while we’re watching a movie where I take a joke too far and he gets annoyed, I immediately apologize.

He then completely shuts down and says he is tired of us arguing.

He says he needs space so I turn back on the movie.

We watch for a bit but he gets on his phone completely ignoring the movie so I try to talk things out.

“I take a joke too far,” is an awfully vague term to use after going into so much detail about her phobia a few paragraphs up.

As I try to smooth it over he just keeps saying he’s tired of arguing.

I try to explain that the situation that happened where I got upset earlier wasn’t necessarily an argument, but me disagreeing with how he reacted to my concerns.

“Disagreement” isn’t the same thing as “argument.” Got it.

I feel as though I should be able to express it something bothers me.

He says that wasn’t just a disagreement but that it WAS an argument and backtracks on his previous apology, repeating that indeed it actually isn’t that big of a deal to throw up.

But at this point, he’s just bringing up an old argument.

I say that his reaction in that situation wasn’t supportive.

He then goes on to say he’s always supportive toward me and I say that I never said he wasn’t supportive, just in this situation.

He then says that he asked for space and says I did not give him that space and now I shouldn’t be confused as to why he’s frustrated.

Things are just escalating now, and they should probably take a break.

Now he’s gone into the guest room and is not speaking to me.

I’m very confused and am feeling crazy about this whole situation.

Please help!

In the comments, people thought that both of them are behaving poorly.

They were both in a bad mood, and they couldn’t stop picking on each other. And people also wondered if there was more to the story than this girlfriend was letting on.

Many people were curious what it was that she made a “joke” about.

In an edit, she explains that she told him he’d have “no chance” with an actress on the TV they were watching. Maybe a petty situation, but one that he’s apparently sensitive about himself.

Overall, most folks decided everyone here was acting like children.

Communication is a learned skill.

But some people just live for the drama.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.