Helping out your family feels natural, but sometimes it can breed more problems than solutions.

One hard worker wrestles with how to balance generosity and responsibility when an entitled relative’s expectations start to eat into her own lifestyle.

Read on for the full story!

AITAH for “spoiling myself” and not sending money to my brother?

My brother (45M) has 3 kids.

He works to support them, but their mum (33F), his wife, doesn’t work.

She believes that some work is beneath her and, therefore, refuses to work.

So her brother decides to ask her to pick up the slack.

As a result, my brother keeps asking me for some money, and I (30F) keep saying no.

Each time I say no, I feel guilty because I like to “spoil myself” and buy nice things — shoes, clothes, bags, etc.

She wants to help her brother, but she resents her sister-in-law’s refusal to work.

I know he works hard to provide for his family, which is why I feel inclined to help him out.

But my sister tells me that by sending him money, I encourage this behavior, and his wife will NEVER get a job at this rate.

She tries to figure out a way to raise these concerns tactfully.

How do I nicely hint to him that if his wife worked, they wouldn’t need to keep asking for money?

Also, AITAH for spoiling myself instead of sending that money to him? I’m torn!

Sometimes you have to teach someone to help themselves.

What did Reddit have to say?

This person has every right to buy nice things they worked hard for.

This user provides a potential script on how to let their brother down easily while encouraging his wife to pick up the slack.

Financial hardship sucks, but so does feeling entitled to someone else’s money.

Helping out would be nice, but it should never be an obligation.

Maybe the best gift here would be a lesson in self-reliance.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.