Offering a friend a lifeline during hard times can feel like the right thing to do. That is, until they start swimming in circles instead of moving forward.

One woman thought opening her home would help a friend stay afloat, but his appetite for expensive takeout made her wonder if his priorities were really in order.

Read on for the full scoop.

WIBTA for telling my housemate to stop ordering door dash?

I (45f) am a single mom, a full-time college student, and I own my home.

At the end of last year, a friend (35m) reached out to me because he was in dire straits.

The friend had fallen on hard times financially.

He’d been laid off from his job (tech industry), ran out his severance package, and his unemployment was almost up.

His lease on his apartment was up at the end of the year, and he wouldn’t be able to afford to renew.

So she made him a deal.

So I offered to let him move into my office for $300 a month, to cover his utility usage while he tried to get back on his feet.

I also said that he’s welcome to eat dinner with us any time I cook (most nights), and anything else he wants to eat, I will get with the groceries if he Venmos me the cost.

But it soon became clear their ideas of responsibility widely differed.

As soon as he moved in, he started DoorDashing, and then got a part-time job delivering pizza.

He still does not have a full-time job in his industry.

I feel like I made him a pretty solid offer, and ultimately, the goal was for him to live cheap and save his money.

She doesn’t think he’s being responsible with his money at all.

Instead of eating with the household and contributing to groceries, he’s gotten into a habit of ordering DoorDash sometimes twice a day.

He’s spending significantly more on takeout for himself than I’m spending to feed the whole household.

Now she feels like she’s in a difficult position.

I know he’s his own adult, and I don’t have the right to control how he spends his own money, but at the same time, I feel like I’m making sacrifices to provide him a home.

While I don’t expect anything extra in return for that, I do feel like the premise of him being here is based on him saving money, which he’s clearly not doing.

So AITA if I told him to stop ordering takeout, and eat from the kitchen instead?

She offered a helping hand, but is he being responsible with it?

Let’s see what Reddit had to say.

At the end of the day, it’s not fair for her to be the only one making sacrifices.

While she can’t control him, she can take the lead on a more equitable arrangement.

Eventually every bird needs to be pushed out of the nest.

Maybe he needs someone to light a fire under him.

If he’s not willing to cut the takeout, she might have to cut him loose.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.