Setting boundaries with family can feel impossible, especially when there’s a serious illness involved.

What would you do if a parent became seriously ill and asked you to move back home?

Would you put your entire life on hold to be there, no matter what?

Or would you find a way to support them from a distance while protecting your own peace?

In the following story, one daughter finds herself facing this very situation with her mother.

Here’s what’s going on.

AITA for refusing to move home for my mom with cancer?

Hi. So I (31f) currently live about 2 hours from my parents.

I live on my own and have a full-time job in my area with a life and friends.

I enjoy my job, make great money, and love the city I work in.

It’s quite easy for me to travel home frequently, as I mentioned, it takes 2 hours.

I have some debt, but I know I’m not alone in this case.

My mom (58f) was diagnosed last April with AML, a type of leukemia.

She’s had a few scares in which she got sick and was in the hospital for a month or so.

Most recently, she was in the hospital in a city she was receiving treatment 3 hours from home and I drove out there to visit.

My mom and I have had a complicated relationship.

I have great affection for her, and over the years, we’ve built a friendship.

However, my mom certainly has her own troubles she hasn’t worked through.

Even as an only child, their relationship was strained.

I was an only child for much of my upbringing, and she was rather critical.

I could always do more, do better, not be so emotional or dramatic.

She very rarely admitted she was wrong, and she tended to believe that if something went awry, it was because I didn’t listen to her or someone else’s doing.

My dad was kind but quiet and lacked emotional support.

Parents divorced in HS, and my mom immediately got with my stepdad, another meek man, and our relationship imploded.

Over my 20s, I moved away and have kept a comfortable distance between us.

It’s helped me and our relationship in a lot of ways, as I’ve done a lot of healing and been able to set boundaries so she can’t control me.

So that’s where I’m coming from.

I love my mother and absolutely want to be there for her with her cancer.

I work in schools so I offered I could be home until school starts back up in September.

She wants me to move home for at least a year.

AITA?

Eek! What a sad situation to be in.

Let’s see what advice the folks over at Reddit have to offer for her.

As this person points out, she should tell her mom that she’s getting frustrated.

Here’s a good solution that could work.

This person knows how it feels to have cancer.

This person thinks the mother is manipulating her.

Ultimately, it’s her choice.

And from the sound of it, she’s not looking to upend her life any time soon, so her mother needs to make other plans.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.