When parents live in different states, it can be hard to develop a strong relationship with both of them, especially if one of them doesn’t put in the effort.

What would you do if your dad never took advantage of his court-ordered parenting time, so you barely saw him, but now that he is remarried with other kids, he wants you around for them?

That is the situation the young man in this story is in, and he doesn’t want to spend time with his younger step/half-siblings and their mom is pressuring him.

Check it out.

AITA for not wanting a relationship with my dad’s other kids because I don’t see him as my dad?

My dad moved out of state when I (M16) was 1.

He didn’t fight for any custody or visitation until I was 3 and didn’t see me at all in those two years either.

When he got visitation with me he sent me back early every single time.

My mom had to travel states to pick me up early every summer for years.

He was supposed to get every other Christmas but didn’t take that time for years either and the twice he did in the last four years he sent me back early then too.

Just some examples.

The custody order stated that he got 6 weeks with me in the summer and 10 days with me every other Christmas.

It is clear dad saw him as an obligation at the most.

When I was 6 I was at his place for three weeks in the summer and he told mom he didn’t want me there anymore and she needed to come and pick me up.

When I was 8 he had me for 10 days one summer before having mom come get me.

He had plans with some others.

When I was 9 he decided four weeks was enough and he was going away with some girlfriend he had at the time so he needed me gone.

Three years ago he insisted I go for Christmas and he called mom after I was there for four days saying I was going home.

Even when I was there and he wasn’t “busy” he didn’t spend time with me.

The most time we spent together is the times we ate at the same time but that wasn’t common.

Then he got married and his wife and her kids moved in and I saw him a little more because she insisted I eat at the table with everyone so her kids wouldn’t learn bad manners.

She tried to engage with me a little but I just waited to go home every summer.

I knew it’d be early.

Mostly she wanted me to play with her kids who were younger because they were curious about me.

Why would he want to visit just to be treated like this?

Last year my dad kept me the full six weeks and he used me for a lot of babysitting or he’d force me to leave the house with his wife, her kids and their kids together.

The kids were all excited about me being there and wanted to hold my hand and stuff which I found annoying and weird.

I hated it.

My dad wasn’t there and it upset so much that I realized he might be technically my dad but I only have a mom.

My mom and I were back in court after my birthday and the judge changed the order to say I don’t have to go anymore and it’s my choice.

So, now I’m not going.

Dad shouldn’t have made it so miserable for years.

My dad’s wife called about it after everything was official and she asked me to still come for the kids sake, because they’ll miss not seeing me.

Her kids and their kids together have called me on their mom or my dad’s phone so many times.

They called my mom to ask to speak to me too.

One of the kids cried the a few weeks ago and asked if I really wasn’t coming this summer.

There was lots of crying.

Now my dad’s trying to make me go and I told him no and I told him he doesn’t even want me there.

He just wants to do what his kids want and I told him that’s not how it works.

I said he isn’t even really my dad.

He was arguing with me about being a brat when his wife came over the phone and said I shouldn’t punish the kids for dad.

They are still his step/half-siblings and he may want to know them in the future, but forcing it now won’t help.

She said whether I see him as my dad or not, I share blood with some of her kids and have been around her other kids since they were really young.

She told me they deserve better.

I know the kids did nothing wrong but I feel nothing for them.

I don’t love them. I don’t like them.

I don’t find them so sweet or worth knowing.

To me they’re just kids.

AITA?

While he is not obligated to go or see the kids, he may regret not doing so in the future.

Family becomes more important (for some people) as they get older.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about it.

Dad set the standard.

This commenter says the wife is just as selfish as the dad.

All the kids deserve better.

Harsh, but true.

This person says dad has been neglectful and is now reaping the rewards.

This is a bad situation for all the kids in this situation, but unfortunately, dad and step-mom are failing them.

This young man is putting himself first, somebody needs to.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.