When you have children, you gain some major responsibilities, so your life has to change to make sure you meet them.

What would you do if your wife continues to go out with friends regularly, and even take long trips with them, leaving you to care for the child all the time?

That is the situation the husband in this story is in, and while she says he is being controlling, he feels like she is being neglectful.

Check it out.

AITAH for not letting my wife keep her old habits after we had a baby

So here goes, my (39m) wife (34f) is a very active person with time consuming hobbies and likes to spend time on those hobbies with her friends.

This means sometimes she is gone for most of a weekend or a whole day every now and then.

She also likes to help her friends (one in particular) with all of their problems any time of day, or sometimes night.

She also works pretty late so I usually pick our daughter (1f) up.

It was discussed that her hobbies would have to change.

It is worth mentioning that I have two kids from a previous marriage, (12f and 10m).

Before we had our daughter and when we were discussing the possibility, I mentioned that it wouldn’t work with her busy schedule and she would have to make huge changes if we were going to have a child together.

She assured me she was on board with that and it wouldn’t be a problem.

That year she went on 3 trips abroad without me, which was fine, but again I mentioned this would not be possible once we had a child.

Fast forward to us having a 6 month old – now she wants to go on a hobby-related trip with her friends for 5 days, wouldn’t it be terrible if she was left out?

How is she paying for all these trips?

So, long story short, I was guilted into letting her go.

She of course doesn’t miss any of those weekends either, and unfortunately they usually happen when I have my other children (I have them every other week).

I feel it is really difficult to take good care of them when I am alone with them and their baby sister as she requires almost all of my time and attention.

Another thing – she has never taken a summer vacation with me because she is always too busy.

This is ok but not ideal as I am really bad at finding fun things to do with the kids on vacation.

However, now she actually wants to go abroad for another hobby related thing during my summer vacation with the kids!

Not only do I find this unfair to me but the kids as well, but she is pressuring me with guilt about how important this is to her and that her mother can take care of our daughter – I don’t want to leave her with her grandmother for a week!

It sounds like she just doesn’t want to be a wife or a mother.

I am writing this on easter Sunday, alone with our daughter because she is on a road trip with her friend all day.

She notified me of this – didn’t ask me or discuss it, just let me know.

This same friend wanted her to take a drive with her at 3 am a few weeks ago, they apparently had to take someone to the airport.

I said forget it, you have a baby (her friend does not) and I’m sick of this.

She relented but calls me controlling for interfering (she was complaining about being sleepy all day next day, I wonder how tired she would have been!)

So, I guess what I am looking for is am I really being controlling or am I right and this is just not acceptable behavior for a family?

I sometimes feel like we are just roommates who sleep together and have a child together rather than an actual family.

AITAH?

It sounds like she needs to grow up and realize she has responsibilities.

Let’s see what the people in the comments say about this.

He really didn’t provide enough information.

This commenter has a good question.

This is very good advice.

Staying at the grandparents once in a while isn’t a bad thing.

While childish, it may make her see what she is doing.

These two clearly have different priorities in life, and they need to find a way to get on the same page or it will ruin their relationship.

She can’t just abandon him all the time.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.