He hadn’t shown up for anything real since they were toddlers.

No calls, no visits, just gifts twice a year dropped off like Amazon packages.

Now graduation is coming up—and suddenly, his presence is supposed to matter?

Read on for the story.

AITA for not inviting my BD to our twins kindergarten graduation?

So for context: My ex and I have 6yo b/g twins that will be graduating from kindergarten in June.

He hasn’t physically seen them since Christmas when he dropped off gifts and before that he hadn’t seen them since July (to drop off birthday gifts but was late doing that).

He hasn’t physically had them in his care since they were about 2 years old.

Wow.

He doesn’t call to talk to them, doesn’t text me asking about them and when I suggested that they start to get to know him again by all of us meeting at the park, he got angry and said that they are HIS kids too.

I should just drop them off with him at his new place (with his new gf that I’ve never met) and if they’re uncomfortable, they’ll learn to get over it.

Our daughter has a bit of an anxiety issue and our son has a mild form of autism and since I have been the only consistent parent in their life, leaving them would cause them both to flip out.

I’ve been debating on if I should just be the bigger person and invite him to their graduation but part of me feels like not even bothering.

Wonder why…

He has always had the same work schedule and I know he would make an excuse that he can’t go into work late even though the ceremony is only MAYBE an hour long and he’d not miss work.

I feel like if he really wanted to be in their life, he would make the effort but he does nothing but show up with gifts…

Am I being petty for not wanting to invite him??

Commenters saw right through the “he’s their dad too” defense.

Parenting isn’t just biology—it’s showing up, doing the hard parts, and actually knowing your kids.

This person says to just invite him so she can watch him NOT show.

This person says she’s certainly not under any obligation.

And this person is just questioning everything.

Choosing peace over chaos on a big day isn’t petty.

It’s parenting.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.