What would you do if a relative asked you to help them pay for their child’s birthday party? Would you agree to help for the sake of the child, or would you refuse to help because you don’t want to enable the mom?

That’s the dilemma the woman in today’s story finds herself facing, and she and her husband disagree.

Let’s read all the details to decide who’s right.

AITA for refusing to pay for my niece’s birthday party?

My SIL is kind of a mess.

She lives with my in-laws and her two young daughters.

She hasn’t worked since Christmas and recently asked me for help paying bills as my mother-in-law has cut her off.

She followed her husband’s advice.

My husband really doesn’t want me to get involved because he feels like it’s just enabling poor choices, which I understand, but I’m also not in the business of trying to teach people lessons and if I can help make someone’s life a little less stressful, I’m happy to do it.

At the end of the day, though, I want to respect my husband and I said no, but offered her some suggestions for how to make changes and get into a better financial situation.

She was understanding, but then started asking me to pay for some of my niece’s gifts for her upcoming party.

Both my husband and I agreed that for our niece, we wanted to help. I purchased over $200 in party supplies and gifts and had them sent to my in-laws.

Her SIL asked for more money.

Earlier today, SIL asked me if I would be willing to pay the balance of the party (which is planned for Sunday) as her kids’ father backed out of paying I guess.

Apparently it’s $350, and I already know my husband will be mad if I give it to her.

Let me clarify, I don’t have a controlling husband, and we both make good money, but we have a rule that when it comes to our families of origin, we defer to the other partner.

She’s not sure what to do.

So now I feel stuck because SIL is telling me that if I can’t help her, she will be forced to cancel the party.

And of course I feel so badly for my niece, but I don’t know what to do.

My husband thinks they should just cancel it anyway, since she can’t afford it, and just pivot to having it at my in-laws’ house, which is actually rather large and can accommodate the attendees.

I feel like my niece will be super upset, and I know it’s a little embarrassing for everyone. I just feel like since I have the money, it doesn’t hurt anyone to give it to her, but I know it’ll cause an issue for my partner.

AITA?

That is a tough situation. I feel bad for the niece, but having the party at the in-laws’ house might be the best solution.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

The SIL should’ve planned a less expensive party.

Here’s another vote for a more affordable party.

Now she knows why her husband doesn’t want to help.

This person calls the SIL a “lazy deadbeat.”

It’s too bad for the niece.

Don’t enable her.

Looks like the party plans have to change.

If you liked that post, check out this post about a woman who tracked down a contractor who tried to vanish without a trace.