How far should you go to help your family when they’re struggling financially?

That’s the question one woman is wondering in today’s story.

What started off as a way of helping her family when they were struggling with a covid-related job loss has become years of her family relying on her for help paying their bills.

She’s sick of it, but she’s also wondering if it’s wrong to cut them off.

Let’s read all the details.

AITA for refusing to send my family

I(23F) have been working at my first full time job for 1.5 years.

In 2024 I spent over $10,000 supporting my family.

My dad lost his job over covid and hasn’t found anything since so dependent on mom.

She worked really hard while going to college.

At the time, I(20) was in school and got cut off to save on my younger siblings college fund.

I got financial aid which covered 2.5 years of tuition.

I worked 15hours/week with a full course load and doing extracurriculars.

In the summer, I had internships that covered rent for the next year.

She has helped her family a lot.

In the last 1.5 year, I have supported: sister(22)’s college tuition, sister’s rent, other sister(19)’s college applications, dad’s rent (in other countries to explore job opportunities).

This year, i realized that I have no emergency fund and they aren’t in a position to help if things go south.

I have a contract job ending next year and if I cant find anything after that (with my current habits), I am screwed.

I cant go back to live with my parents because they are citizen of a country I don’t have residence in.

She has helped her family a little too much.

I have helped so much that i am debt.

My parents keep secrets from each so I don’t know that my mom is fully aware of this.

I am sandwiched between their secrets and disdain for one another.

Mom prior to dad’s unemployment never paid for anything so she doesn’t know the value of money.

Her mom’s spending habits are out of control.

A year ago we sold property to have a 1 year worth of my sister college tuition and in the end, my mom squandered more than half of it so I had to chip in.

Last year, mom took out ridiculously high loans with insane monthly payments, with now 2 of my sisters going to college last fall.

Once again, mom squandered most of the money so I paid for 1 sister’s tuition and the other just never went.

She doesn’t think her sister appreciates her help.

For a while I didn’t mind paying my sisters rent every month and tuition.

Until we found out she failed out of school and had been failing every year.

Its such a slap in the face considering how much convenience i have been sacrificing for her.

It also hurt because this level of leniency was to extended to me.

I was self sufficient in this last 2.5 year studying a very hard program too.

And all she has to do is study and can’t even do that?

She finally told her family how she feels.

In the last 3 months i have spoken to each of them on 1 or 2 times.

Tried to explain my concerns and the emotional toll this is all taking on me as a 23 year old who moved to a city knowing no one for work navigating my early career.

I was dismissed.

Mom in a rage a month ago said I can stop all assisting which I agreed to and she said will pay me back everything which declined.

Her family still wants money.

Anyway, in the last 48 hours I received texts asking me how I am doing that became “send us money”.

And I said no.

I genuinely don’t think I can move on in a relationship with them feeling like an ATM. Money is the subject if all conversations atp.

Am I the jerk for refusing to sending them money given the current situation?

Her family has gotten too used to relying on her to pay for everything. It sounds like cutting them off is probably the right move.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

This person is on OP’s side.

This person agrees that she made the right decision.

She could tell them she doesn’t have any money, which is pretty much true since she’s in debt.

This is good advice.

She’s already helped her family too much.

They need to fend for themselves.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.