Sometimes kids and their parents have special relationships.

In this story, one mom is torn between generations… specifically, her daughter and her mother.

Let’s see how this snaps into focus.

AITA for snapping at my mother when she asked when I would “finally” kick out my daughter?

I (66f) am retired but kept very busy by caring for my mother (85f) and my disabled husband (64m).

My mother does not live with us; she lives in an assisted living facility, where I visit her every few days to check up on her and see if she needs anything.

During my latest visit, she brought up how I should “finally” kick out my daughter (29f, let’s call her C).

Doesn’t seem like any of mother’s business, but maybe she has a point?

Now for some context, yes, my daughter does indeed still live with me and my husband, for many factors including her rather fragile mental health.

But what my mother does not understand is that, despite us being parent and child, we are not living in a parent and child kind of situation.

We are roommates that just happen to also be family, because neither her nor my husband and I could afford places of our own in this economy.

We are dependent on C just as much as she is dependent on us.

Hm, if C contributes in a meaningful way, the arrangement should work for everyone.

C holds down a full time job, which doesn’t pay great, but not awfully either.

She pays her fair share in rent, utilities and groceries, does her fair share of chores and sometimes even takes over some of my chores when she feels that I need a break.

I cook on weekdays when C has to work, but C has weekends off so she takes over cooking duties then.

What symbiosis! Why does mom’s mom have a problem with it?

She has a savings account for emergencies, she pays for the family Netflix account, and even spends some of the fun money she has left over every month (which isn’t much) on little treats for my husband and me, no matter how often I ask her not to waste what little money she has to enjoy life on us.

So with all of that as background, my mother’s comments made me pretty angry, because C does so much to not be a burden to my husband and me, despite me telling her that I love her and could never see her as a burden.

Hopefully this living arrangement can withstand scrutiny.

I also fear my mother may have planted that thought in her head when I wasn’t around.

Meanwhile, all my mother seems to do is demand, demand, demand.

She has nurses at her disposal in that assisted living facility, and people who do grocery runs for her.

But she never uses these services and demands that I do everything for her instead.

Um, why?

She demands all of my time, energy and attention.

I suspect she may want to push me to kick C out so she could move in with my husband and I and force me to be her full-time caretaker.

This would definitely make me snap.

I was already having a bad day, so I just snapped and told her that C’s living situation is none of her business.

She started crying and asked why I would yell at her for just being concerned.

So Reddit, AITA for snapping at my mother?

If you provoke a snapping turtle, it snaps… that’s on you.

But what does the comments section think?

One user says, don’t be an emotional support daughter.

Another person says, just don’t make her wishes your commands?

Another poster is like… don’t give in.

This person says if it works, it works.

One user says, you can apologize but still set her straight.

Set some boundaries, and make it snappy.

This is none of Grandma’s business.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.