Navigating illness and disability within the family can be exhausting.

This person has a disabled spouse who cannot function independently.

Then, their parent suddenly got diagnosed with cancer.

They’re being guilt-tripped into thinking they need to visit their parent, but that would be impossible given the situation with their spouse.

What is the right thing to do? Read the full story below.

AITA for choosing my disabled partner over my terminally ill parent?

So, I lost my job back in October.

It was for a crippling leg injury. I couldn’t walk for two months.

My spouse of four years is disabled. They can barely care for themself.

This person is their spouse’s primary caregiver.

I do everything.

I help them into bed, and I clean them after the bathroom.

I do sponge baths and prepare every meal.

I even hand-wash their clothes in the event of accidents.

They’re not very close with their family.

I’ve been estranged from my family because I had a less than stellar childhood.

I haven’t seen any of them in person in over 20 years.

I went through knee surgery, and we were desperate for help, and one parent came to my state to be with me during it.

Now, one of their parent is dying.

After six months, said parent is now dying of bone cancer.

We’re still getting our life back together from our own crises.

My spouse is still incapable of day-to-day survival without me.

The guilt-tripping started.

I talked with said parent about this.

And their response was to launch into a guilt trip.

They got other family members to extend the guilt trip.

They haven’t talked to me in years, but they reached out. They also started blaming my spouse for their disability.

There’s just no way they could make the trip to see their parent.

Our car won’t make the trip.

I don’t have money for an instant plane ticket for a 12-hour visit.

It hurts to know that I won’t be there for them.

But my spouse is a huge fall risk, and I would rather deal with one crisis than two.

AITA?

What a tough and sad situation!

Let’s find out what others have to say about this on Reddit.

This user shares their personal thoughts.

This person offers some honest advice.

Prioritize your spouse, says this user.

This person has a different perspective.

Finally, people seem to agree that they don’t have a choice.

Prioritize the person who’s been there for you.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.